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Just Another Day In Auschwitz

Hans opened the grating as usual
Dropped the Zyklon B pellets
One by one just as the sergeant said
And closed the aperture
He couldn't bear the tumult
He knew would follow
It was the screams of the little ones
He found the most unsettling
But at least they ended first.
However, one thing was for sure
It beat the Hell out of dying a hero's death
On the frozen Russian front.
And there was a silver lining too:
Christmas was coming and with it extra rations.
Twenty long minutes elapsed
Before the screaming down below
Gave way to blissful silence
While Hans read a chapter of Mein Kampf
Which took his mind off the constant fear
That Kommandant Hoess would find out
His grandma's name was Rachel Bergwitz.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
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Comments

Oh, the horror...the horror...You've brought the harsh truth to us in deftly worded verses.
The lines below are especially hard to read. And the irony...

"It was the screams of the little ones
He found the most unsettling
But at least they ended first."

Why is Hans in the camp? Because you write that they would find out his grannies' name.
I'll return for another read, this is a tough one to swallow at one go.

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

...for your intelligent comments.
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xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

author comment

It wasn't me!

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

....! Which I have now corrected.

xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

author comment

I suppose that Freudian slip was actually... maybe... a compliment? ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

...we may disagree on some things but I could never fault you for your trying to comment on most pieces published here - you do a lot to keep to site alive. Bravo.

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xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

author comment

I do try to do my part. I have been blessed with many friends here over the years and it's true that I/we haven't always agreed with all of them, yourself included. ~ Geezer.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

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