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A Lament for a Departed Friend

Parting is such dulcet sorrow;
My lonely heart weeps at eternal separation;
Now you are gone from me
The world is cold and empty
And a veil covers my bitter tears.

To lose my lover, my friend,
My partner through life's sad
Yet pointless journey...
My very soul is rent asunder and
Cast shattered on the wind.

But let me cease my whingeing!
Upon due reflection this is but
The stuff of which cheap sentiment is composéd.
As far as I'm concerned you can piss off
And no regrets, you silly old sod.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Sounds like they sobered up! Your title was a little shy of drawing power, [if I didn't want to see the newest twisted tale from you, I might have just passed on by]. Language use was good... sweet, but not syrup-sickening so. The theme was ahhhh-
so-so beginning with a nice twist in the end. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I am well-known for my twisted endings.
.

xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

author comment

..of my tragic piece. Orpheus recovered - he never looked back again.
.

xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

author comment

...is always a big bonus.

You're probably right - the title can be beefed up a bit ("A Lament" is perhaps sufficiently specific. See what you think of the new one.
.

xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

author comment

LOL. Its become a matter of when, not if, Edna will reveal her wrinkle!

Obi.

...wrinkle well concealed..
.

xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

author comment
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