Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Return of Chat on the Darkside...

This is where it happens
Bring your dark and dreary stuff
We don't want your hearts and flowers
Your kisses and your fluff

We want pain and heartbreak
Bloody knives and gore
We'll take your fondest nightmares
The stuff behind that door!

So come on, bring it all
Don't hold back this time
We don't care if it's sick
Free verse or in rhyme

Nine PM this Saturday
Hope to see you there
Come to Chat on the Darkside
It's dark stuff we can share!

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Last few words: 
This IS an actual invitation to a real event! This Saturday night at 9pm EST Host ~ Geezer Moderator ~ Carrie ~ The Raven Nevermore Be there, bring your dark stuff, just want to see what you can do!
Editing stage: 

Comments

you could call this a novelty poem; although it IS an invitation to a real event!
I agree with deleting the [The] from the title, but I think that I shall keep the [yours] because I wanted to call attention to the
writers bringing [their] poetry to the chat. I don't have any idea why you should be finishing the word [flowers] while starting to say Your; [flowers is at the end of the previous line]. Third stanza, 1st line: I put a comma after the word [on] to give it the proper rhythm. I don't know why you are surprised to see me rhyming, I do it all the time! Thanks for the feedback and comments, ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

with your dark side. We want to see that dusty, scary stuff you've been hiding! ~ Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

we don't care if it is sick
free verse or perfect rhyme

i think this has better rhythm

hope i can make this. it would be midnight my time? (washington state). the dark is my favorite place!

midnight for you! Just bring your dark side. We want to see the scary stuff you think about. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

i got the time wrong! lol. you are three hours ahead so it is now 9 your time, 6 mine but i am here. just hope i can find the right place

My fault, I'm so used to trying to transcribe to Aussie time, that I forgot that it was less time for you, not more! ~Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.