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Scratch-Off Spring

If you like Spring, Maryland weather
is like a scratch-off lottery ticket:

your lucky penny may wipe away
the snow for one week, and a cluster
of tulips appear.

The sweltering heat of summer
be interrupted by zephyrs,
cool as Canada.

It is a poor man's delight, these anomalies
of paradise.

Another type of unearthing,
the treasure of treason
against a bitter or blistering season.

And fall is a second vernal equinox here,
the leaves as colorful as flowers,
the honeyed air full ofpleasant smells and feels.

When you can wear sweaters and sandals
at the same time.

But the real gift is the sweepstakes of surprise,
the bucolic breaks that visit
like white-winged angels

at any given time
of the year.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

I did a reading on SoundCloud as it is great read aloud.
https://soundcloud.com/neopoet/scratch-off-spring-by-greg-walker
May I post it to our Facebook page?

I'll probably come back with some real crit when I get over my infatuation.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

You have written it so well you could remove some of the line breaks to let the verse flow in its natural cadence.

Read this aloud-
If you like Spring, Maryland weather
is like a scratch-off lottery ticket:

your lucky penny may wipe away
the snow for one week, and a cluster
of tulips appear.

The sweltering heat of summer
be interrupted by zephyrs,
cool as Canada.

It is a poor man's delight, these anomalies
of paradise.

Another type of unearthing,
the treasure of treason
against a bitter or blistering season.

And fall is a second vernal equinox here,
the leaves as colorful as flowers,
the honeyed air full ofpleasant smells and feels.

When you can wear sweaters and sandals
at the same time.

But the real gift is the sweepstakes of surprise,
the bucolic breaks that visit
like white-winged angels

at any given time
of the year.

Wodjarekon?

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

I love it, jess. it improves the poem, I think, for sure. and you can definitely share on facebook!

author comment

Good stuff! have nothing to crit. ~ Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

hey, it has been ages since last time i visit
it is a pleasure to see you are still writing

i think you might want to add a bit more of a drama in the poem, add how you feel about it
the poem is purely descriptive

and then you used the word zephyr instead of simple wind, i would drop it

but i liked the alliterations in the middle of some stanza and a word selection over all leaves good fresh impression

good write overall

who is new here and good, tell me i will take a look.

don't be angry at my critique, i mean well

IRiz

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