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TWO WAY VISION( JANUARY CONTEST)

New years is a couple weeks gone by
and January thaw is fading fast
heralded by wind tossed cobalt sky
which soon will bring an icy blast.

Artificial knees allow this stroll
yet still ache (and always will)
but I take to this wooded knoll
overlooking a little rill.

I spy the chair which I left here
a year or two, at least, ago
one summer when this land was sere
and weeds even refused to grow.

I brush leaves off the rusted seat
then sit down to take a rest
far from any house or street,
the type place which I like best.

I've visited this spot for years
initially with many friends
but all the time and all the tears
have shown how my story ends.

But I push such from my mind.
Today at least I'm still around
and able to leave fond trails behind
seeking the ones newly found.

Like all new trails life goes on
all with choices not yet made.
So its time to turn my back upon
those where tracks are already made
and I forge on toward my final glade.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Contest: 

Comments

just didn't grab me, I started skimming after the third verse thinking "just another pastorale".
Sorry.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Just trying to get out of a slump

author comment

it sucks, eh!
But I have recaptured the thrill of critique and that should help.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

writes

author comment

man

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Stan! Has been a year or two since I've talked to you

Still love your writing and I am so out of it as far as writing goes

I don't
really know how I ended
up in here when time was
once upon
that time or two ago

Hope all is well and upon wondering how the Aussie poets were doing it did not take me long to read the responses to see. Hope to hear from you
Mona

I thought you must have fallen off the edge of earth lol. Good to see you are still around

author comment

but if you post another poem with the word 'beautiful' used 17 times I will come down on you like a ton of bricks.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

I liked this one, it lets us back on the great trails you have made.
Just a couple of easy things to sort:-

Stanza 4 line 4

the type place which I like best.
(maybe an OF in there to make sense)

Then we go to the last Stanza
which maybe should be 4 lines, not 5 lol,

Like all new trails life goes on.
all with choices not yet made.
So its time to turn my back upon
those where tracks are already made
and I forge on toward my final glade.

Great to see you wander again young man,
Yours, as always, Ian

Words can build a nation

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