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AWAITING HER CUM

Submitted by Chiori on Sun, 2020-01-12 08:48

Last night was like a passion trapped on a bed
But life is turn by turn, pretty chocolate
Mine you've witnessed, in three rounds
but yours still to cum,
how long will I await your arrival ?
how long will I endure in this train station.

Since 8pm till 12am I've endured-
your craving upon cravings, to please this little crazy thing
backed with her soft roses touch and soundtrack that follows
when will you cum?
when will my dying man be set free

Pretty chocolate
man cannot but say that you are infinity indeed
Immortal am I neither
to cover this open grave
or your oncoming orgasm
tomorrow is another day whispered the door.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Simon

Mon, 2020-01-13 04:37

Simon's picture

I say is like a game which we do for exercising our body in another way is enjoyment,but the most best part of it is the stimulation and ejaculation of the two working it out by having intercourse, nice one and a experience.

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