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God's Diary, January 20000 BC - Seven Holy Haiku

Monday 1st January, 20000 BC

Started work today
The oceans were quite hard graft
Went for a nice swim
_____

Tuesday 2nd January, 20000 BC

I invented fish
No fire yet so ate them raw
Got a tummy ache
_____

Wednesday 3rd January, 20000 BC

Dry land was harder
But I managed it OK
Ate another fish
_____

Thursday 4th January, 20000 BC

Lots of fun with fire
Managed to fry a haddock
Burned fingers badly
_____

Friday 5th January, 20000 BC

Totally busy day
Animals took me ages
Had steak for supper
_____

Saturday 6th January, 20000 BC

Invented people
They have a will of their own
And they fuck a lot
_____

Sunday 7th January, 20000 BC

Feeling tired now
I'm done with all my labours
Time for a good kip
_____

Memo to myself: stop writing fucking haiku.

Style / type: 
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Wonderfully witty and I would hope the Godists had a grin too!!

Obi.

"Godists" is a good word. I nornmally call them godsquad or bible-bashers. But "godist" is nice. How about "godomisers"?

xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

author comment

understand the use of the word [graft] in the line "The oceans were quite hard graft". Could you explain?
I actually enjoyed this one. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Hard Work. Origin is C19, British informal. Hard graft therefore = VERY hard work indeed.

Pleased you liked it.
.

xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

author comment

I thought it had something to do with work. Funny, how a word like that can show up the differences in the dialect of a standard language. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Preferred "graft".,,, added a little colour ?!?!

Obi.

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