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Sounds at Dusk

I’ve walked this road a thousand times
and probably a thousand to come
Changes are subtle but still they befuddle
My eyes catch the shifting of some

The mist has arrived in dusks fading light
The shadows that fall now seem twisted
I take cautious steps not knowing why
Now find myself taunt and tight fisted

The concrete seems soft, leaving my mark
Behind me the trail disappears
My eyes are deceiving but ears are receiving
the low groans they suddenly hear

No stars out tonight to shine me along
One step at a time if I dare
The trees now seem listless; I seemed to have missed this
I’m usually much more aware

The houses are dark, no movement I see
My thoughts are now running wayside
My legs keep on screaming that I should be winging
my way back before IT arrives

So what is the IT, you’re acting a fool
You live here on Halloween night
The neighbors are playing and you should be saying.
"You got me; now turn on your lights."

It was a game; your last thought was how
As you claw at the ground to resist
The evil surrounds, you’re drowning in sounds
of monsters that stand in your mist

The pain was like lightening, it seared through the bones
You should have believed what you sensed
Now they're emerging, with madness they're surging
Against them you find no defense

His blood runs coal black, a ring into hell
It spreads just like ink on a page
his life now cowers, life’s blood soaks the flowers
That they’ll lay atop of his grave

So here you arrive, the end of this tale
Your own noises you have ignored
The ceiling is creaking and darkness is seeping
Through cracks in your own places floors

The sounds you don’t hear will drag you along
The same dying place that he was
Their standing behind you, while you just continue
to get through this ending. . .because

You think it’s a story of Halloween flavor
The hairs on your neck are alive
You don’t know what’s coming; behind you it’s humming
Now they say it’s your turn to. . . Die

By: K. Mulroney

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Just getting closer to Halloween, so here ya go!
Editing stage: 

Comments

Wow! Thank you dear poet for such a gracious review! I am truly honored you not only read my work but liked it.
Have a wonderful Sunday!

Rottie
Pegasus was a genius,
living within a suit of difference.
He liked what he was,
nodded in respect and
simply flew . . . away.

By: K. Mulroney

" I am who I am, say what I say, do what I do. With no apology."

author comment

Too bad, it's too long for the October contest! My only complaint; is that you didn't rhyme the fifth quatrain. It was only noticeable because you did such a great job with the rest of them! Of course, you could use just the first three verses and the seventh! Or one, two four and seventh! I think that would be solid enough to get the whole story told. ~ Geezer.
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They are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

I know you are aware that rhyming poetry is at its best when like sounding rhymes, not absolute rhyming words are also used. Wayside rhymes with arrives, screaming rhymes with winging. As you see there are no rhymes with the first line of each stanza yet both the 2nd and last line do. The difference here is I wanted to break up the normal rhyming pattern which is why I decided to rhyme twice within the 3rd Line of each stanza.
I also tried and think I hit it 100% at finding unique words to rhyme and still keep the cadence. I counted beats in each line. This was not a fast write, took a day or two.
Not sure why you say this does not rhyme in this stanza, rhymes perfectly to me but it’s your opinion and I do so appreciate you for it!

The houses are dark, no movement I see
My thoughts are now running wayside
My legs keep on screaming that I should be winging
my way back before IT arrives

Thanks Geezer for stopping by! Opinions always welcome!

Rottie
Pegasus was a genius,
living within a suit of difference.
He liked what he was,
nodded in respect and
simply flew . . . away.

By: K. Mulroney

" I am who I am, say what I say, do what I do. With no apology."

author comment

my earlier comment that there was no rhyming there. I now hear the [eye] in both. Something that I would change is; "My [legs] keep screaming." maybe just me, but I would much rather hear; "My [brain] keeps screaming." Same number of beats in the line and makes better sense. ~ Geezer.
.

Please acknowledge critique and comments.
They are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

I noticed it
except stanza second
may review
if Libra aren't you

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