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THE HARMONIOUS SEASONS

Autumn is the time of year
Uttering words of red and gold,
The boughs will soon be naked as can be.
Underneath the branches tier
Mounds of leaves heap in the cold
Now that autumn falls upon the tree.

With the passing of the weeks
Inside the woodland haven there
Nothing stops the changing of the green.
The snowy landscape dusts the peaks,
Evergreens are white and fair,
Rending winter's icy season's scene.

Soon the sun will melt the snow
Producing springtime streams,
Rushing down the hillsides to the sea.
In and out of dales they go
Nurtured by sunbeams;
Going on forever fast and free.

So now the year has run it's course
Under heaven's sky,
Melodious in song, a troubadour.
Mountains harness summer's force,
Elevated, towering, high,
Rehearsing for the autumn's grande encore.

ASJ

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Well done all seasons are good,
Sometimes these can seem forced so be careful if you write several..
Yours Ian ..

Words can build a nation

Thank you for your input Ian. Much appreciated.
Kind regards, Alan

author comment

I see that you live just up the road from us here, we are in Leicestershire, I have been writing since I was 15 but that is too far back to remember.
I have put out an A-Z of poetry forms barrowed from all places, if you need any help just shout up.
It is handy to live in the same time zone GMT, I write under the names of Sparrow, IanT, and Yenti, so there is a wide range to look over. F/B page is:- Ian Thomas Howard.
Look forward to being here for each other when needed, Yours Ian ..

Words can build a nation

Thanks for getting in touch Ian. My postal town (3 miles away) is Holmfirth, famed for the filming of 'Last of the Summer Wine' TV series. PL Simon Armitage lives close by too.
Look forward to trading blows with you in the future.
Kind regards, Alan

author comment

Ian and you are neighbours
I am your ACROSTIC flavour
since birth I composed
an acrostic in me arose
as with out a thorn a
Rose

Rise
O humanity
Summon all
Emotional

Hi lovedly. I thank you for your kind message. I don't writ many acrostics therefore I may be troubling you from time to time for your aid. Nice to know there are specialists out there.

Kind regards, Alan

author comment

but you must know
I have always been
an off the cuff poet

ask Ian and Gee
a poet they consolingly
take me
2 b
Dear Alan
I had a school friend
same name
from ENGLAND

Best wishes

author comment

a cross the stick
ha good poet
ye b
unlike naughty me
rgds

Red blood red in colour
Opponents too have blazing valour
Softly in my ears they tinkle
Everyone here has your sprinkle
lol

I'd rather leave a space between the first and next letter in the initial words to help the reader see your creativity in creating an acrostic poem, then it will be even more appreciated.
Here is what I mean

A utumn is the time of year
U ttering words of red and gold,
T he boughs will soon be naked as can be.
U nderneath the branches tier
M ounds of leaves heap in the cold
N ow that autumn falls upon the tree.
Then you don't need to title it as acrostic... Maybe a more creative title?
Just few thoughts... You surely know better.

Thanks for to this fresh take!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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Thanks for your kind and important comments. This kind of feedback is what I am asking for so I will heed what you say. Your 'few thoughts' are, to, me a compliment and I am grateful that you have taken the time to read and comment. I hope that you will call anytime with your views

Kind regards, Alan

author comment

I have changed my title as you wisely suggested. Not changed anything else yet. I haven't spaced between start letters though, don't know about that. Am I telling people they won't spot an acrostic unless I spell it out?
Would really like to know what you think.

Kind regards, Alan

author comment

Yes, a very apt title indeed. As for the acrostic thing and spacing the start letters, it all came from what I saw during the six years on this site reading others' poetry and posting mine. Rarely has anyone noticed the form unless the reader drew their attention in a way or another.

The site here allows the boldness and the italics, but you need to use the advanced form then.
I will try to find the blog to help you with that if you if you're interested.
For the time being keep it as it is. It still reads great.

BTW. you can simply leave a notice about it at the few words's box.just that simple.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

The article by our active Kesley, our advocate.
It doesn't hurt if you read it. In fact it's very useful as all what she writes.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

The article by our active Kesley, our advocate.
It doesn't hurt if you read it. In fact it's very useful as all what she writes.

https://www.neopoet.com/swamp-witch/blog/sat-2014-03-22-2100

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

for your wonderful help. I will sure read Kesley's article after thanking you for your guidance. Glad I met you.

Kind regards, Alan

author comment

Nice to meet you. I hope that you have a great time here at Neopoet. Be sure to join our monthly contests and take part in the workshops. I like your work and look forward to seeing more of it. ~ Geezer.
.

Please acknowledge critique and comments.
They are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

Thanks for welcoming message. I've just read your sonnet which I like. Look forward to talking to you a lot.

Kind regards, Alan

author comment

1st stanza last line seems a bit weak to me
An acrostic is usually the first letter in each word of the title
example being Love
Lilly white snowfall
over hillside flows
venting it's cold breathevening soon will fall
you worked very hard on this poem and it shows

I will look into this. Your pointing that out is most important to me so thanks again.

Kind regards, Alan

author comment

I don't seem able to find any reference to acrostic ruling stating that the title must match the word or phrase used. Although I accept that most do, such pieces as E. A. Poe's 'An Acrostic' spells 'ELIZABETH' vertically. What did you use as a reference for your theory? I may have to re-title my things for the future. I appreciate, vey much, you pointing this out to me.

Kind regards, Alan

author comment

Welcome to Neopoet. If you have problem navigating or any type problem at all on site just give me a holler. If I can't help I'll point you to somebody who can. Now to the poem....you got me, I didn't realize it was an acrostic. And a Rhyming one at that ! (I thought I was the only one who bothered to rhyme with acrostics. There are a few changes I'd make were this mine but this being the first of your poems I've read I'll save such stuff for a later .....stan

I appreciate you reading my poem. My original title was 'The Acrostic Seasons' which I changed after posting it. It is a bit of a dilemma to me now as I have been advised that an acrostic should have the title of the word it spells. However I have never heard of this rule before and have seen other acrostics (by respected poets) which do not.
If I have to explain to a reader that my poem is an acrostic I don't see the point in writing it as one.
You say, yourself, that you didn't realise it was an acrostic but didn't advise I should have titled it thus!
If I write a four stanza poem I don't expect to have to explain that it has four stanzas, and so on.
I have, of course, read some of your work and look forward to your critique.
Also I haven't quite worked out how a poem would be submitted for contest.
It is wonderful that you have taken time to talk to me as your comments are so valuable to me.

Kind regards, Alan

author comment

To submit a poem to contest first put(December contest) right beside title. Then go to bottom of page and you will find a contest button which you should also hit. As to acrostics having the same title as acrostic itself I've never heard of that but then I'm no poetry expert

is the contest button Stan, thanks. Thanks also for your view on acrostics.

Kind regards, Alan

author comment

I am sure that your title can say something like "The Acrostic Seasons" this may quiet the problem of perfection lol
But really though I will check it is not needed, can you imagine that when they were used to write messages, not all could read, but to tell everyone the answer to the code would seem a waste of time,
Yours Ian T

Words can build a nation

I actually thought this about hidden messages myself, but a title is quite important (I think) and you ought to be able to choose it uninfluenced by the first letters of its verse.
Your thoughts are very much appreciated by me.

Kind regards, Alan

author comment

sorry for the dilemma here.
When I first suggested changing the title, my suggestion was accompanied with spacing up the first letter. If you keep the first letters the way they are, you can keep then the "accrostic Season"
Again was and still a suggestion, the call is always yours of course.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

I understand what you are saying. You know, you are most helpful to me and I have learned something from you already. I am pleased.

Kind regards, Alan

author comment
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