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Just Flashed My Mind

Now I pass by other valleys
where water trickles
silently and slowly

I see nothing but greenery
hence no more do I feel lonely

Pass your time with an open mind
care not who is watching you
or here reading you

Comments now
fly over my bloated mind
as I am aged
and that there lies within my cage
no crime

later I post a poem
it may may not rhyme
but are you poet divine
wanting me to lay supine
Comment at your will Sire
I shall still admire

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

When I saw the title I became worried but it turns out that you wrote a very gentle piece. Just read it out and see that there are a couple of places that need attention,
Yours as always Ian ..

Words can build a nation

a person can worry about what others think a bit too much. ~ Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Sorry Gee
I cater fr the intelligent ones
like me
Do you now agree

folks are born
just to say
you are born
to not dismay

author comment

enjoyed readng ths I still try to respond to most poems note I said try lol

Chrys

check out our chat room open to all 24/7

is enough for me
I know you now do read me
hit me when I deserve it

praise me silently
I will know it
Thanks
clb

author comment

I liked this. I read to different subjects in here. Most would say that is confusing, but like art abstracts are for the individual to absorb their way, in their eye.

Rottie
Pegasus was a genius,
living within a suit of difference.
He liked what he was,
nodded in respect and
simply flew . . . away.

By: K. Mulroney

" I am who I am, say what I say, do what I do. With no apology."

Most of the times if you follow other people's comments you will get piesed up but there always a room for comments to flow in that's why no writter is more perfact than all.

yours
Simon its easier to comment and amend the written

Think of the guy who composed
what thoughts such a poem
had brought
his mind would have wrought

author comment

yours
Simon its easier to comment and amend the written

Think of the guy who composed
what thoughts such a poem
had brought
his mind would have wrought

author comment

Flashed my mind again I
was going to write again

now I shall reframe

From all comments
I have gained

author comment
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