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LOVE IS THE LIE

Submitted by Drey Hommies on Tue, 2019-09-17 14:11

Love is like the rose, a beautiful thorn.
The sugarcoated deceit daughter of conceit,
The vinegar that tastes like sugar
Love is the Lie -

And the truth we all know.
The religion beyond reason and science,
The force that brings the wise and the foolish
to common grounds.

Love is a senseless intelligence,
The unfortunate Present of an unguided Past
The grandmother of brokenness,
Unwanted pregnancies, and shattered future.

Love is a morning of kisses,
An evening of acrid acrimony.
Love is a bitter gall and a spear through the heart,
Love is the Lie -

And the truth,
Because of the selfless mother,
brother and friend.
The money bags taken to charity,
The White hand plunged into a pit
to lift a Black man.

Love is a coin with two faces
Like the two sides to every story
And your vision could be blinded
Depending on your angle.

Love lets you carry the Cross
if you do not Draw the Line.
Depending on people,
Love is the Truth, Love is the Lie.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Eumolpus

Tue, 2019-09-17 20:26

Eumolpus's picture
Advocate badge

all good but the first line- love and throrny rose is overused, too common a metaphor. Otherwise I like your poem. It has great energy. (no need to cap the Present and Past).
I was thinking about this song lyric which is quite strong as a poem, and also quite strong as sung by Freddie Mercury. Check it out after you read the poem, https://www.youtube.comwatch?v=c3X6KtQ7nxQ

"Love Kills"
(from "Metropolis" soundtrack)

Love don't give no compensation, love don't pay no bills
Love don't give no indication, love just won't stand still
Love kills, drills you through your heart
Love kills, scars you from the start
It's just a living pastime, ruining your heartline
Stays for a lifetime, won't let you go
Coz love (love) love (love) love won't leave you alone

Love won't take no reservations, love is no square deal
Hey love don't give no justification, it strikes like cold steel
Love kills, drills you through your heart
Love kills, scars you from the start
It's just a living pastime, burning your lifeline
Gives you a hard time won't let you go
Coz love (love) love (love) love won't leave you alone

Hey love can play with your emotions
Open invitation to your heart
Hey love kills
Play with your emotions
Open invitation to your heart (to your heart)
Love kills (love kills), hey hey, love kills (love kills)
Love kills kills kills kills
Love can play with your emotions, open invitation

Love kills, hey, drills you through your heart
Love kills, scars you from the start
It's just a living pastime, ruining your heartline
Won't let you go
Love kills, hey, drills you through your heart
Love kills, tears you right apart
It won't let go, it won't let go
Love kills, yeah

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

Drey Hommies

Wed, 2019-09-18 14:04

Drey Hommies's picture

I'll download it right away

Hommies

author comment

Rottiestyl

Thu, 2019-10-17 00:38

Rottiestyl's picture

I liked the first line, works perfectly. A wonderful write. One could ponder with this truth, as we all or almost all, have experienced this seasawed merry-go-round labeled love. I would not change a thing here. Nice writing.

Rottie
Pegasus was a genius,
living within a suit of difference.
He liked what he was,
nodded in respect and
simply flew . . . away.

By: K. Mulroney

" I am who I am, say what I say, do what I do. With no apology."

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