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Amazon dispossessed (climate change)

The loud tonk tonk of the bell bird
sounds like a hammer hitting an anvil,
today it feels like a warning klaxon
rather than the obnoxiously loud call
of a male calling for a mate.

Distracted she climbs down from her perch
paces the floor, cocks her head to listen,
The vibrating hum of cicadas normally so soothing,
Have brought goosebumps to her skin made
her hackles rise.

The normal pattern of her day disrupted
something is lurking in the air,
which feels drier and tastes acrid,not foul but infused
with sulpher like the outer vestiges of hell.
She takes a deep breath trying to sift
through the aromas, the deep earthy tones, the mustiness of rotten vegetation, overlaid with something indefinable, imutable and worrying.

As the day creeps on padded feet towards full night, the forest always gloomy darkens,
Today everything is light and she sees
bright crimson and gold flashing through the canopy,
Brighter than the sun on a cloudless day, yet
striped with sulphorous black denser
than the moonless night.

She climbs a tree for a better view
On edge, she twists her head trying to focus
lookjng for threats,
Yet all she sees is light brighter than anything she has witnessed in her life.
Then silence other than the
cr
ack of branches a plop
splut of water ,
Sound seems to have been sucked into a vortex.

Instinctively she surveys her home ,
She knows in her heart this is the last time
she will view it, or climb this tree.
Silence instead of alarm calls from the canopy,
Danger is approaching and she will have to leave.
She coughs
deep and racking in her chest.

She has been alone since the departure
of her last child,
She will continue her solitary life but where
will she find a safe home?

She doesn't understand greed,
or the need to fire forrest to grow crops
or run cattle, nor that cattle are taboo
for the likes of her.
She doesn't understand that her forrest home
is the lungs of the world,
that destruction will damage her world
and its climate for all time.

She just knows her ancestral home is
a place of danger instinctively
she bounds down the tree
heads towards the river and a chance
of life on the other side.

Will she survive?
I wish I could forsee
See her
Tawny speckled hair ears erect as she
swims across the river,
tail standing like a flag.
Her life forever disrupted as her home
is consumed along with the worlds
at
mos
phere.

Samantha Beardon.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I couldnt find how to put this into the contest. I dont know if review is allowed if its in the contest.
Editing stage: 
Contest: 

Comments

1) Open your poem
2) Click Edit
3) Scroll to bottom of page
4) On Contest drop-down, select desired contest
5) Save

Best of luck.

---------------------------------------------------------

Jonathan Moore

Thanks.

author comment

Do you mind being called Sam? Welcome to neopoet. I hope you enjoy your stay here. This contest poem is likely to be in the running for winning. Only thing I'd change is in stanza 7 line 1 and 2. I'd delete "man's" in line one which will then require line 2 being changed to From his to man's.....for some reason this just seems more in keeping with an animal's thoughts. BTW if you have any navigation or other problems feel free to ask either me or any member.......stan

Thanks for your input Stan. Sam is fine I only get called Samantha when I am bad! lol
I have amended those lines taken out so extraneous words and acted on Marks suggestion to! I love a poems journey.

author comment

What a beauty of a poem with great imagery on the topic.
I have two questions.
Regarding the word senses and smell:
you show us their meaning in regards so why use those words at all?
I wonder if it would be more a competitive work if you were to make a bit of rearranging to take them out?

Best of luck in the competition,

~Mark~

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Hi Mark thanks for the question. Why did I use the words seemed like a good idea at the time... but you are right I am telling not showing so have reworked plus done a few other tweaks. To me getting the poem right is important .. I still wonder if I should be mire up front about the fact she is a Jaguar. Rightly or wrongly I have added some shaping.

author comment

this is magnificent. i would not add what she is - i got it. i love looking through her eyes and you have showed me so well what she sees, what it feels like as she watches the end of her life as she knew it. this absolutely must be in the contest. i think others have had trouble on how to get their poems in as at least one person just typed for contest next to title

A great write..
There needs to be a little edit on line length but that's me.
I would like a balance in the stanzas..
The write is fine and good to read,
Take care
Yours Ian ..

Words can build a nation

Congratulations on winning the September contest,
I once again have to tolerate going on the second place cruise,
The shipping line is fed up of me getting a freebee.
Great write! I have some where on the Neopoet place an A-Z of poetry
that I have stolen from all places there you might find the format for most poetry.
I will check to see if what you need is there.
Yours as always, Ian ..

Words can build a nation

I didn't know I wanted something so am a little confused.

author comment

If someone wins the comp I always take second place and it is usually a cruise, but not to worry I always Joke about it..
I added the A-Z I have compiled as a ref for you if there was a need..
Still congrats on winning the Comp.
Take care and keep writing,
Yours, Ian ..

Words can build a nation

I misread your reply..duh... read carefully .. thank you

author comment

Great work. It was a pleasure to compete with you even though I take the scraps thrown from Ian's boat.
Really though, I hope you find something nice at Amazon.
I look forward to competing with you once more and in the meantime please do show us more of your talent by posting more often.
Truly,

~Mark~

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Sam, I love your lines ma'am. Good work, and congratulations,ma.

Collins

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