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Decaffeinated rainbows

Submitted by samary on Mon, 2019-10-07 04:21

Bring us words - witty, wise or wistful
Written with all of their potential
Make sense of life's distorted mirror
To unlock our deepest emotional stirrings
Write with all of your potential

Share your words - wrapped in plastic, paper or silk
Extract understanding, pain and happiness
As you touch the deepest pit, your wildest j*oy
Help us distill each drop of emotion
Bitter, sweet or salty combinations on the tongue then
Project films - romance to noir from amidst your potential

Trumpet music and songs with your words- fanfares of feelings
From decaffeinated fairy lights to surging seas
Mix words with the music from your soul
Find metaphors from the wellspring of experience
Words from broken shoes to purring Ferraris
That elicit a thickened throat, a glimmering smile
The sigh that escapes lips after reading your potential

Paint as Picasso, Turner, Bacon -Sketch your words
Those written from
the well spring of your potential.

Samantha Beardon ©

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft

Comments

themoonman

Mon, 2019-10-07 22:14

themoonman's picture
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I love your title, it's abstract and I
don't know what it means but I love
it just the same.

Your repeated line with "potential", I
thought overdone but it is probably
just me, I'd say the same thing to anyone.

Welcome to the site, thank you for sharing

samary

Tue, 2019-10-08 15:01

samary's picture

The title came about from work I am doing on words collisions to make metaphors. Decaffeinated rainbows was a fun find in the metaphor stakes and think what other combos you can put together with characteristics in common. I take on board your views on the repetition it was done to add repetition to try to pull together the visual and sound structure of poetry in a poem about poetry.. will leave it in the dark and revisit in a week or so. Sam.

author comment

c lynn brooks

Tue, 2019-10-08 09:11

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wow I love the title of this poem i pulled me right in. I agree with the repetition of the word potential however it distracts very little from the rest of the work which I found to be an awesome read

Chrys

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samary

Tue, 2019-10-08 15:04

samary's picture

Glad you liked it, experimenting at the mo. Its going into the dark for a few weeks. Sam

author comment

ROSYME

Tue, 2019-10-08 15:48

new comer
but already a poet

Can I seek your indulgence
to comment help improve my
AUTUMNAL POEM
Delighted shall be me
having appreciated
what you made me just read

Geezer

Wed, 2019-10-09 06:11

Geezer's picture
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I agree that metaphors can make a poem or story. I have a next-door neighbor who mixes metaphors all the time and I am thinking that maybe a poem of them would be a good thing to try. You have a bunch of great metaphors that bring a picture to mind with each:
"Trumpet music and songs with your words"
"Fanfares of feelings"
"from broken shoes to purring Ferraris"
They all bring great images. Nice work! ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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samary

Mon, 2019-11-04 09:36

samary's picture

Metaphors are so difficult and also such fun! Its finding new ones.

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