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You Think Wrong of Me

Submitted by chima ononogbu on Thu, 2019-10-03 19:58

I'm a dove with a face of a hulk,
But you think wrong of me!

You think of me a little too cocky, contumacious;
A little too full of ego pinions, which you say
Flap around my footprints strewn across
Spaces, landscapes, I once had occupied.

You say of my voice thundering as your fear,
You say of my gait breaking the grounds
And quaking your gaiety,
My name trots byways of your imagination as a buggy of horror,
But you think wrong of me!

Your frightened perception of me springs from your demur
To see those cues from whence arises my peculiarity.
Cues wreathed in pearls and flowers
Of humanity, of humility, of compassion.

You blame me for my piquant masculinity.
I'm of a piece with my wide shoulders; my taut
Ambitions,
Which rock as a sea of gentle spirit,
Yet hard as they're tender to tote and lull a baby.

But you think wrong of me!

You croak at my blackness as grotesquely beautiful,
Which you say eats you up as devouring critters,
And to behold it, to you a sisyphean striving,
Yet reminds you of a tree cut down for its twig is giant;
And of a star cast of shrouds to dent its fulgurant light.

But you think wrong of me!
But you think wrong of me!

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Sparrow 42

Fri, 2019-10-04 03:47

I liked this piece of writing, but at the same time, thought it told the reverse story of those that you portrayed.
It seemed to make a chasm of ways between people, and your thoughts on what others think.
Maybe this is true in many ways, where you live and what you do with your thoughts that you think others have, only fuels the fire that produces the gap that we try to heal..
Just me but I am old and have moved around a bit, I have met many different races in my life and I treat them all with the same respect, and in return they are as my Brothers and Sisters, though at my age both are becoming rarer.
Take care young man and I will read a few more of your writes and get back to you, Yours as always, Ian

Words can build a nation

themoonman

Fri, 2019-10-04 15:48

themoonman's picture
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I do like your poem although
i believe you could improve it.
The title, why use a direct line from
the poem and of all things, the
repetitive line?

Maybe it doesn't matter but I was
trying to figure out who the "you" is,
I thought it was the community but
your last verse seems to indicate one
particular person ... confusing.

You seem to be using words that
you don't normally use. Nothing
wrong with that, I don't mind looking
up a word, I like them.

thanks for sharing and allowing us
to share as well

chima ononogbu

Fri, 2019-10-04 23:01

chima ononogbu's picture

I appreciate your remarks and they're well taken.

Bathe yourself with poetry and let the world go to pieces.

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