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Ghost

A play from the tales of old
tells the tale of a race
where adders are left to play.
A race where flesh reigns
administering its works on every soul.
A race that shuns the Hunter's whistle
walking ways that suits it's pace.
You can see the air like the gutters
blowing nothing but ills.
A race with no teacher; Everyone is a teacher.
When the race weed got dried enough
A funeral of fire
gives the race a befitting burial.
Piercing through the body of the moment
like the spear of a mighty warrior
I stir through the content of the moment
like the rolling stick does to mama's pot.
My feet wobbled and heaviness blindfolded me
I am a stone thrown in the ocean's throat.
for the ghost of the race from the tales of old
blows the trumpet of this moment.
The play from the tales of old
is edited and replayed.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

beautiful poem. a few errors in the english but i think you will work this out. wonderful images. deep thought

Thanks granny.
Will surely work on it.

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