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IT ALL RUNS BACK TO HISTORY

Coral skinned men sit on this chess board
With blue eyes facing each other
Eyeball to eyeball.
Venting personal discontentment,
Both moving Black pieces.
An irregular and abnormal chess game.

Too hard a puzzle for the mundane to rack
So they gamble their lives on another man's fixed odds.

Blame it on Black Government,
Blame it on Education,
Blame it on Black citizens
Except for their own race.

Two swords sharpened by same people
Staged to a duel against two brothers.
Same skin color, same blood, same hair,
No features for a pawn en pasant to a Queen.

But since the Future is Dead,
I'll rather give birth to the past.
We're revolving around a cycle,
It all runs back to history.

Competition and envy sets a man ablaze.
But while the previous purifies,
the later consumes...

#SayNoToXenophobicAttacks #Xenophobia

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

The language is on point. In fact the entire poem is magical as it addresses in a rather practical manner the scourge of xenophobia---black on black violence----which sinks South Africa faster than its collapsing political structure does. Very rhythmic, I must confess. Good poetry.

chimaono

intellectual piece. the knowledge to back it up. as to giving birth to the past, it had better be a past way long ago. we write of the past in hopes that the future still has a chance. great work as usual

with political/historical themes, i think best to stick with the metaphor, not revert to journalism or hyperbole in the guise of poetry. You start with the chess board of black vs black, Stay there. Tell us of the players, the pieces on the board, (make up new pieces, new rules!) what the winner wins, how he wins...the chess is a great metaphor as a spring board for your imagination to tell us of the evils of history.
This is what makes poetry difficult. here you are telling us, you're giving us a speech.

But since the Future is Dead,
I'll rather give birth to the past.
We're revolving around a cycle,
It all runs back to history.

This has nothing to do with the content. it's how you present it. Make the chessboard your reality here, and tell history through it. Great start!

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

I find nothing to critique. I really liked the chess board comparison

I am grateful to have had you guys in here... I will work on every correction

Hommies

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