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STOOPED SHOULDERS

There was a time I used to wonder
why is it old folks move so slow?
I thought of this but didn't ponder,
but after years and years I finally know.

Those frail folks who take each step with care
know that old bones carry a heavy load
a burden which the young can't share.
They're too short of time upon life's road.

Each time a loved one leaves this plane
my shoulders hunch a little more
they leave me with memories and pain
which only my old soul can store.

Have patience all of those still young
I'm shuffling along fast as I can
on brittle bone, muscles near wrung.
I tote the past of my whole clan.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

I too have a problem with slow walking and a little stooped over. I have recently gotten over pneumonia and I almost didn't make it back on my feet. I'll be 70 next year. But I understood everything you said in this poem just as if I was saying it myself. Recently the elevator broke down in my building and I live on the 3rd floor. People were very nice and patient with me on the stairs but somehow I think they were thinking get out of my way or hurry it up. Lol! Thanks for telling it like it is. I also loved the rhyme.

B9Pat

Well I can't call you Pat any more since you are SO much older than I. (5 years lol). So I'll need to get your last name Ms........... But no rush. And yep old legs and even replaced knees make climbing a real pain.

author comment

I'm about to start riding stationary bike to build up legs and get rid of some of me. I have become too much of a person lol. I'd ride a regular bike but they don't work too well in woods that have no trails. Plus there's always that chance of crashing which would really be a problem if either knee was re-injured. You know, perhaps we should form an old fart's club. Problem is I'm a procrastinator and can't seem to get around to writing a club charter....................................................

author comment

That far out. But my driveway is 1200 feet uphill all the way and made of gravel. Once it hits the paved road then it's about 1000 feet one way and 1500 feet another until I hit one of the busiest 4 lane state roads in the state so bicycling there is not a safe option. I'm about half way between Anderson and Clemson S.C. so although I within sight of only one house I'm still close to "civilization. I can walk out my door and be hunting deer within 50 yards so I love it here.

author comment

Struck a chord with me too! I'm seventy-one now and short of breath and the muscle I used to have and mostly have no where to be in a hurry; [which seems to be at odds with all the youngsters]. You could clean up your scansion a little bit with a few additions and subtractions, but that is something that you can deal with after you get out of the way of younger folks. LoL ~ Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Well Mr. Guy I guess I need to start hanging out with a younger bunch of older people lol. As you know I've had both knees replaced lately. The easy secrete about 2 knee replacements in a bit over 2 years is they don't warn about muscle deterioration during the time it takes to recover. So I see myself soon joining a gym in order to access weight machines so I can get back to pole vaulting ....................

author comment

about the deterioration. It takes me all summer to get back to where I was before winter.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Thanks for the eagle eye. Will correct it now

author comment

It helps when you want to let responsibility slip right off. LOL.. No I know what you mean, and am getting there myself. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

Yeah, one would think that once kids are grown and gone that responsibility decreases but just the opposite happens. Suddenly You become the repository of family stories.

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