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Note Pudding

There’s nothing quite as sweet
As when a group of half notes meet
Throw a sonic party
Supplement each other’s frequency
To get pitches so harmonious
Concordant and euphonious
Like Tchaikovsky or Led Zeppelin
A song can be the soundest medicine
A waltz in three four time
Scales that both descend and climb
And move the heart to ecstasy
An auditory chemistry
Sometimes it can take hours
To give music transcendant powers
But that’s the muse’s bidding
This treat we fondly call “note pudding”
One savory sound placed by another
Make of an A chord, an E chord brother
And bring the listener to tears
By joining instruments in pairs
A bass note and a treble
(A call to peace, a punk rock rebel)
They say there’s just twelve tones
In the body of life, they are the bones
And an ingenious composer
With patience, beauty and composure
Can make the perfect song
To soothe the soul, excite the throng
Sing you off to sleep
Make the shyest person leap
We all have the same ingredients
But a musician of notable expedience
Will take the time to get it right
Give the love and fight the fight
To get the sweetness to your ears
The symphony of life he hears
And hopefully get his just desserts
His artist’s name on your t-shirts

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

the rhythm, and after reading it a couple of more times, I found I still couldn't. I guess that I'm stuck in old fogey mode. I do like the rhyme and the word usage and think that you have a good solid theme.
~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

this is what it's supposed to sound like :)

https://soundcloud.com/gregwa8/note-pudding

author comment

wow, it sounds great how you read it.

T

The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight

I don't know much about writing music. This poem was special to me anyway. I could tell you knew what you were doing here. I especially loved the ending. The rhyme was so cool.Thanks for a great poem.

B9Pat

I have to tell you I didn't think you could do anymore with this poem because it was so well done BUT!
Your voice has transformed it into music. I loved it more than the poem itself. You've created a work of art and it is marvelous! Bravo!

B9Pat

thanks so much, B9Pat!!

author comment

thanks, everybody!!

author comment

Okay, than write it how it should sound.

Look at you punctuation, your stanzas, your general structure. Recast this piece in a manner that an old white man with no rhythm can give a passable representation of your work.

Because I look at work like this and keep going. I don't want to have to work harder reading the poem that the poet did writing it. Or, perhaps, I am not your target audience and you are satisfied with the results.

The choice, of course, is yours.

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Jonathan Moore

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