As Legna says, you have written a poem that if it s a poem to a real love, I suppose that she might give you a real consideration. It is a sweet and innocent thing that might just tip the scales in your direction. My only advice at this time, is to keep writing from the heart and finding new stories to tell.
Take the time to read poems from here and elsewhere to sharpen your sense of how to put the story to paper. I hope that you will grow here and learn to express yourself in an ever increasing manner.
Good luck, ~ Geezer.
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ok, you reckon you do read poetry? Who are your favourite English language poets and why?
Who are you reading now?

Love poetry is the hardest of all to write because it has been done so often by so many of the bests.

The two most important things missing from your poetry are truth and meter.

Frankly I do not believe you when you say you've read a lot of poetry or the glaring clichés in this would be obvious to you.

Rhyme was the last tool added to the poetry toolbox and the most abused. You need meter, cadence, rhythm. Listen-
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0g7Ebh6maXG

Where is the 'musicality' of the language? Without a drummer in your band you have to provide your own. It doesn't need to be a dull, repetitive rhythm, it needs for each word to lead to the next as if there was no other possibility and this creates the music of poetry in our minds.

I promise complete honesty with my critiques, I expect the same from your poetry and the answers to my questions.