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Asshole...The Poem

she moves her mouth
wet lip chatter and eating
it makes me think
of her pinkish vagina lips
and her tender warm cheeked rectum
urethral delicate opening
the anus eye
her pipsqueak fig staring

a dark vulnerable miasma
it is the shape of gods 3rd eye

a material correspondence
to the heavens
not the sky that whistles through canyons
but the astral worlds of angelic's
a thanksgiving feast
of rebuked back door paradise
a glistening hemic muscle
vomiting stormy air
for my throbbing nightingale protuberance.

as it swells imperious balls
and raptures tight waving spasm's
from long smooth canoe strokes
squirting succotash and tadpoles
into her velvet manic stench
banana booth
chapel of anus

and greedy ache
smothers gloriously
this melodic snake
in her one eyed doll head mouth

she smiles
i need it in the ass

and i asked
as it winked a drivel

dark floret
do you love me?

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Editing stage: 


but I would have used "Do you love me?" As always, a veritable laxative of the mind! LoL. ~ Geezer.

Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

haahaahaa that has its place no doubt ;)

author comment

Well, that was exhilarating. And yes, it is done in a poetic way. Some of your comparisons, in this poem and others, really amazes me. In the beginning I thought you were complicated to be complicated; but now that I take your images more as association, then direct point, I find your style appealing.


The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight

Many thanks Tyro,,,Very appreciated !

author comment

Wonderful, wonderful use of language,
should have finished after the "third eye" for me but, shit. Great stuff.


Glad you liked ...Very appreciate !!! Thank you kindly Obi

author comment

You don't need explanations in the window for the last few words.
It is absolutely clear what you write about and how you feel about it.
Another shocking poem. Thanks for being poetic about things most people are simply mute.
The third eye metaphor rocks.
As always, shaken to the foundation, IR.


I dont??? Haahaahaa Thanks ….Love hearing from you xx

author comment

you can write an ode to anything.
a most unique choice!

I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

What do mean anything??? At least half of life is an excretory affair ie it has universal significance LOL
:) :) :) :O

author comment

Poultice for a puckered arsehole.

Take this salve,
this balm,
this unction,

apply 'round valve
and up yer junction.

refrigerate and best
kept cool to thicken
up loose water stool.

please don't fret
and do not fear
'tis but poetic -
diarrhea !


that a cute limerick ,,,,Thanks for check in it ;)

author comment
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