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Solar

You always will forever be my solar...sol brother...the heartest rap around...spirit constitution a revolution raging thru you...one of Garveys mighty people...I always loved the Thunder and the furrowed brow clouds frozen on your forehead... Birth of a baby spade made your jacket telegraph to the world Mental knowledge of who you are the Soldier of his story fresh direct shoulders erect ...fade laid parted half moon are even razor straight streets heard the word five percent down  dedicated to our community UNITY jah bless the eye star in the crown in the cross X last alphabet Bitter bronx inspiring a poetess to test and intellectually  joust sometimes boost about the best ...politics and hip hop and who was down by law...helpimg to get our minds together we could weather any storm our forces of nature strong...Our fusion cause combustion two  bump heads a court room battle...you hammered your armour deflect disrespects the you determined the flight and fight out of Babylon. Sol brother nu Jerusalem solar...

Lep 2018

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 

Comments

Your imagery is powerful and I felt the meter like the tempo of a drum beat timing out the rhyme. The line..." you hammered your armour deflect disrespects the you determined the flight and fight out of Babylon. Sol brother nu Jerusalem solar... " struck me with several meanings of these words and all of them seemed to fit. This is another poignant piece from you and I look forward to reading more.
(note: There's one typo you might want to fix on the third line up from the last, "helpming".)

Respectfully,

Marthalyn

I thank you for your comment and am checking your work. Actually yeah a drum is there for sure.

Lep

Lydia Elizabeth Percy

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