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Daydream (Primal poetry phase 2)

Sharp arrow, free as wind
Shot from primal instincts
Gliding through the sorrows
Trying to reach ease
Catching the eyes
Of leathery skin
Shedding below its flight path
In the valley of wariness
Where everything is and is not
A vivid bulls-eye
Two directions, two paths
One pounding door
One that lures comfort
If a serpent can shed
Certainly a heart will try
With internal desire to ascend
The enigma pulling back
Holding steady aim
Despite many who have tried
And failed to change

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
I said "know myself" before listening to the drums and this is what came out.
Editing stage: 
Workshop: 

Comments

This poem had me in a trance. It seemed like it was about an indian or indians. I loved it the first time I read it, and I've read it again and again. Maybe the drumbeat was a little like the peace pipe. Letting your mind drift into primal territory. In my opinion this is a great poem. Bravo and thanks for sharing it!

B9Pat

oh, bj, you have certainly had the courage to venture into your own mind.

All the participants in this workshop should read this piece.

cheers,
Jess, Neopoet Directors
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

Excusing my dirty mind, thank you. I tried my best to go within, mantra in mind. This workshop is extending into our subconscious's and I love the different results!

"There is no way to peace, peace is the way. "

Bj

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