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Mortician's Kiss Goodbye Primal WS

I'm not coming back
no more vain rebellions

hello to nothing
from the minister of nothing
no ones home but shapeless shadows
cutting across mysteries
of multiple worlds

an empty head
so patient
ghost moon

my legs aren't tired anymore
here in the undergrowth
of slugs slides and slime
whispering hymns needle green

buoyant belly on the rings of night
libation of death
apprehending the void
dissolving doom broadens to immensity
like a light flicks on
wonder wave

no death for the dead
they could care less
nearby in endlessness
stretched out on a couch
spumed mouth
papyrus frail
creature of black steps

waking will not rise flame feathers

where I lived and was broken
noon day demons lost
I dangle from a nightingale floor
burning hair wings flutterless

linking one self with the other
like night with day
wind and dreams
falling lulls weave me together
like a thorne bridge weaves fate
hand over red hand

mind of winter
now I inhabit you
slain and shaken

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 


Couldn't leave without saying
how much I enjoyed reading

Many thanks . Glad you enjoyed this poem ...very much appreciate your comment :)

author comment

You have clearly let go, wrote what you saw and connected with the imagery flow of the trance.

My apologies and congratulations.

A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'

Many thanks Jess.... Appreciated !

author comment

I thoroughly enjoyed this read- I could feel every emotion and word. What a vision that must have been to feel what it was like to be dead.

Keep Writing,

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Than you so much Really appreciate your wondaful comment :)

author comment

I very much like what you do with words and sonic combinations. The images are very powerful and kept my mind continually wondering. The associations held it all together for me.


The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight

Im delighted you like the piece Thank you so very much Very appreciated :))))

author comment
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