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Reality
Morning
Home
Naked, fat, pasty stomach.
Vulnerable
Exposed
Good for nothing.
Bad breath
Bed Head.
Still tired from the night before.
Sore back
stressed back
take back
myself.
Toothbrush
Toothpaste
and assorted daily rituals.
Lather
Rinse / Repeat
Repeat
Repeat.
Underwear
Underneath
Socks
Black pants
Belt to tighten
Over expanded gut
Middle age self image
arm through one sleeve,
arm through another.
Buttons.
Button one
Button two
Button three
Button four.
Hair recombobulated
Glasses.
Chef.
Confident.
Assertive.
Hidden inside
Until
Tonight.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
swamp-witch
Sat, 2019-06-29 13:26
Hey
Sore back
stressed back
take back
myself.
Love that. Feel that. Appreciate the way narrative shifts as the narrator gets ready. Nothing else I can add at this time, as school has fried my brain.
Take care,
Kels
Critique, don't comment.
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