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FADING SAIL
When my boat leaves sight
beyond that far horizon
will I have ever been?
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
OK, I'm obviously going for a HAIKU and I'm aware the last line is one syllable too long.....so any suggestion that will give same meaning is welcome
Editing stage:
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Comments
scribbler
Sat, 2019-06-01 11:11
Hi Mark
Very good suggestion. When your stuff is usually as long winded as mine is it sometimes makes it hard to think in a concise manner lol. As to book, it's getting closer
author commentscribbler
Sat, 2019-06-01 17:58
?
^5...?
author commentscribbler
Sun, 2019-06-02 00:06
obvious now
Old luddites like me need our hands held lol
author comment