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ME ( selfie May contest poem)

The red of Carolina mud
runs thickly in my veins
all it's rebellion, all its pains.
This is but just a part of me.

For I was born in Tennessee
it's sandstone lies here deep within.
It forms, perhaps the bones of me
as rough as stubble on my chin.

Though years have turned me lame and bald
and added pounds to creaky frame
leaving too many friends only recalled
I'm left mediocre without fame.

Yet the true center of myself
was formed in later days of my youth
by books still resting on the shelf
and forebears who taught me to seek truth

Though years have turned me lame and bald
and added pounds to creaky frame
I'm left mediocre, without fame.
This isn't much but this is me.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

that it isn't condensed, it gives me a couple of pieces that I didn't know about before, [born in Carolina and raised in Tennessee]. ~ Gee.
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Born just outside Memphis,moved to Florida for a spell then off to San Diego before back to Memphis. Then at the age of 11 to South Carolina where my father was born and raised. A Navy brat.And here I'll be before my final move to the great mystery.$ hours from the beach tucked here 1 hour from the eastern continental divide.Southern born, southern bred, when I die I'll be southern dead. Roll me in flour and throw me in oil I'd be southern fried lol.

author comment

is cleared up! I loved being in the South, [Florida, Mississippi and Louisiana].
.

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Hi Scrib, I really don't understand how this or most of what I have read is a poetic selfie.
Here is the definition of Selfie:
sel·fie
/ˈselfē/
nounINFORMAL
a photograph that one has taken of oneself, typically one taken with a smartphone or webcam and shared via social media.

So you see my little confusion?
Yours and most I have read seem more like an about me than a selfie in poetry.

~Mark~

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I'm not one of the selfie generation lol. So perhaps showing what a person is doesn't really fit although there are some lines which describe me as being fat and bald. I appreciate your candor though and hope you have/will enter the contest to show us how it's done..........stan

author comment

https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/poems/senryu-going-out-may-contest

BTW I'm not of the selfie generation neither and I don't intend to show 'how it's done' but this is how I see it!

~Mark~

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Well yours is for sure better condensed than mine.

author comment

painting a portrait of ourselves with words is about as close to a selfie as you can get here. I suppose that one might argue that when one says "I'll come calling", that people can be confused about what that means. Does it mean that I will stand outside of your house and call you? Or do I come up and ring your bell! Come on, let's not "split hairs" or does that confuse you too?
~ Geezer.
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Perhaps this edit is better. I'm trying for a selfie that captures more than just the visual aspect of what I am....

author comment

You captured what ya wanted I do believe.
Too bad we couldn't actually post the selfie with the poem.
Maybe soon though ...maybe.
I like the books in the background.
Well done selfie poetry IMO.

~Mark~

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self portrait posted as my avatar. But when I did so on the old site I noticed it wasn't long until the site crashed....hmmmm........

author comment

We'd all like very much to see ya I'm sure.

~Mark~

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Just visualize a round potato with a mustache lol

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