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Home Again ( with a mention of a cellar Door)

I walked my home at the days end
There in the entrance an open place
A welcome rug soiled a little from friends
The entrance hall gleamed hello.

A sitting room, chairs with arms to hold you
Memories in frames scattered around.
A window that showed a garden of thought
New colours to enhance your mind.

There nearly hidden from view
A cellar door, your deepest thoughts betrayed
A stairway to before times not needed here.
There in the corner a glowing ember of you

A kitchen with aromas that caressed you.
Not just a perfume but an essence of life.
Senses brought to the boil on open ways
A floor with a pathway to your needs

A stairway to the universe well-trodden.
A space that held your thoughts in limbo.
A flowerless plant leaves so cool
Drinking through sifted soil the essence of time

Doors leading to rooms of rest and love
A place to play with feelings free.
I shouted at the scenes as they fled
Return to me please let me rest in my bed

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Just a jotting for Jess and his new workshop. The reference to the cellar door is where one can go deeper into the being to see the troubles, there in the corner the source of your being..
Editing stage: 
Workshop: 

Comments

and can't wait to see what Jess makes of it with sound. I will come back and write some more comments after he does.
~ Gee.
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Thank you very much for the visit to my inner house where thoughts are echoed in the rooms we make ..
Yours, Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

author comment

A very warm home. Nice images to welcome the reader as well. There might be no real mentioning to the cellar door or it might be only me.
You also need to choose the Cellar Door work shop from the drop window instead of (Implied Imagery Shop).
Thank you.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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My dear Rula, Thank you young lady for your comment, I have a reference to the cellar door in the third Stanza.
This is where you look inside and to the depths of your Spirit..
Cant find the drop down for the comp so I just streamed with it in the title. I will look again..
You take care out there and my best to your family xx

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

author comment

I like the line, "a welcome rug soiled a little from friends," and then how you write about soil later in the poem. like poetry does, this poem takes you far beyond the physical description to think about the "rooms" of our souls. "A cellar door, your deepest thoughts betrayed." Inviting someone into your home is such a warm thing, but also a deep thing, considering everyone sees your life from much more up close. Nice poem!

Many thanks for your visit to my house, you are always welcome to come sit a while where thoughts fly free and unconditional love rules the abode.
You understood the write well, one day maybe I will let you into my deepest thoughts, where all things are in order..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

author comment

Greg beat me to it lol. The line about the rug soiled by friends is the best I've read in days.I know we're supposed to comment on melody in this shop but any poem containing a line this good ain't gonna get any negative feedback from me lol

Thank you for your great words it is really good to be part of this journey,
Together we will re-write the universe.
Yours Ian ..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

author comment

if a little lacking in flow, to my ear.
Here's a reading-
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0zKPIqOwSCV

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

Your Mellow voice gave depth to the write, I heard and felt the places where there were slight hitches to the write, if only I could enhance the scene to perfection..
Many thanks for your read it was lovely to hear, Yours Ian Sparrow Bru x

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

author comment
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