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The magnolia’s song

The April wind called, and new magnolia blossoms listened,
sitting up on their branches, and taking notice.
and one by one,
cluster by cluster,
from tree to tree,
the graceful young flowers
accepted the wind's challenge
and wrote a beautiful bright page of song
to be shared with the others.
And so the Burrards called to the Waterfronts.
The Waterfronts sang out to the Marinas.
Each Marina, in full voice, reached the Seawalls
who reached the Stanleys
who carried harmony all the way to English Bay.
A grateful wind visited each and every tree
giving the gift of a feathery touch
which filled the blossoms with delight.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
For whatever reason, I have trees on the brain these days. :):) Some of us have cabin fever, and need a bit of springtime. Grateful for any time and attention you can provide.
Editing stage: 

Comments

come back to this. I need a little time to mull it over. Trees are the lungs of the world, they have such a presence that one should certainly recognize that they are a very important part of the lifeforce on this Earth! I like to think of them as "Ents" like the mythological beings in "Tolkien's "Middle Earth".
~ Geezer.
.

Comments and critique are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

I think your poem is well structured and the use of language is well conceived; and yeah for all of us could improve
But what I take away from your work that I feel needs to be reconsidered is this idea of personifying nature; not because its never been done but because there are a million poems like it. I see this kind of writing as benign and so average in its intentions.
If what I say feels true to you consider writing on the margins Writing something that lets me in to who you are
Can you shake the reader... Force them to your will!
Think of film or music Is the work self conscious, overly gilded or ornamented or does it sweep you away I looked at your list of favorite poets To me what they have in common is that they write powerfully Steal their fire Write about what really moves you

the graceful young flowers
accepted the wind's challenge

Tell us how that relates to you or something important to you or its just dressing in my opinion
You know what I mean.... love hate sex death rebirth, time, heaven and hell, what you need or want, what's missing or what obsesses and fascinates you
Life is not easy: Poetry does not have to be wall paper

Unknown poetess

AM I
Am I inspired or am I in shock
Am I in love or am I ready to devour
Am I being her or am I still being my self
Am I high or am I poisoned
Am I possessed or am I ...…

….
What I say only means something if it means something to you I don't take my self too seriously
unless you do
Keep writing!!!!!
Best Z

Thanks for taking the time to really study my poem, and give me some pointers on opening myself up.

Full disclosure - I think that a lot of the poetry I read online exposes far too much to the reader, and exercises no self-control whatsoever. Writing about nature isn’t my way of putting up a wall, it’s putting the effort into actually writing, and not just vomiting onto the page. Truthfully, I find oversharing to be far more widespread in the poetry community, and incredibly vulgar and bland. I have friends, and a journal. No real need to empty my laundry hamper here.

Smiles to you.

Legna

author comment

Well you've said a lot that I agree with about poetry on line; Its mostly gawd awful drek
If you want to read better maybe you are familiar with poetry.org and poetry foundation

Consider opening the laundry artfully as writings sole purpose. Why else read it?
Perhaps you would contemplate the distinction between good writing ie elevated craft and authenticity of expression as opposed to gushing puke sentiment?

Best Z

Thanks, but I would counter to that, why not give people joy, instead of expecting them to pick through vomit and faeces?

Check out my next write, when I put it up (need to get out the door for work right now, so later).

Smiles to you.

Legna

author comment

You want to counter, to make a point !You need to be right! and so any one who reviews your work is going to feel your defensiveness; so Im not encouraged to review you again The best policy here is to use what's useful to you; to appreciate that someone bothered to take the time to read your work and actually care enough to see you develop I stated quite clearly that my review is is only valuable if you thought it was
Some people are in love with the dark side and it does give them joy but I'm not suggesting you should write to it
On the other hand LOOK at literature in prose and poetry film art music from bad people space aliens with an attitude, 50 shades marvel hero's and monsters vampires
Punk music gangsta rap, heart wrenching love songs of love and loss All art is filled with drama / conflict and then of course there's your preference …...Hallmark

I’m sure you’re a very decent person, but you’re missing the point.

The point is that this site is lacking in reader and writership. With this kind of attitude, I don’t wonder that the people who left haven’t looked back.

Forget the focus on telling people what to read!!! There is no art if you have no audience.

Welcome people, or they will go elsewhere.

Smiles to you.

Legna

author comment

I don't know anybody i respect who would come here to read your cleverless predictable neophyte Pablum; so by your own account your participation on this site remains quite irrelevant so far in terms of bringing interest and participation.

Are you even aware of the massive body of celebrated sexual prose and poetry from the ancients to our contemporaries In case you haven't noticed writers write what they want. Its called being free and creative; apparently not your cup of tea; and you are dead wrong about people not reading sexual content
But here let me attempt to educate you with a fragmentary reading list of erotic and epistemological content
Incidentally this is the purpose of a workshop which you might like to understand since that is what your suppose to be here to do ie to explore and evolve through constructive criticism not stoop to ham fisted politics
So your the one who misses the point !!
Pls note this material has been widely published , read and celebrated world over

Sex manuals[edit]

Vatsayana, famous for the Kama Sutra
Yasodhara, author of the Jayamangala
Kokkoka, author of the Ratirahasya
Kalyanamalla, author of the Ananga Ranga
Praudha Devaraya, author of the Ratiratna Pradipika
Ovid, Roman author famous for the Ars Amatoria
Ge Hong, Jin dynasty author of Pao-Pu Zhi
Muhammad ibn Muhammad al-Nafzawi, author of The Perfumed Garden
Hua Tuo, author of On Venereal disease.
Sun Simiao, author of On the Loss and Gain of The Chamber Art
Wan Quan, author of Essentials for Extending Posterity
Gao Lian, author of On Abstinence in Sex
Alex Comfort, author of The Joy of Sex
Sex in fiction[edit]
Alexander Pushkin, author of the Gabrieliad
Alexander Trocchi
Anaïs Nin, author of Delta of Venus
Andreas Embirikos, author of The Great Eastern
Anne Rice, also writing as A. N. Roquelaure
Aran Ashe
Barry N. Malzberg, author of Screen and writer/editor for Olympia Press
Caitlín R. Kiernan — author of Frog Toes and Tentacles, Tales from the Woeful Platypus, and Sirenia Digest
Catherine Robbe-Grillet, writing as Jean de Berg and Jeanne de Berg
D. H. Lawrence, author of Lady Chatterley's Lover
Elias Gaucher
Emmanuelle Arsan, author of the novel Emmanuelle and various other works
Georges Bataille, author of Story of the Eye
Giovanni Boccaccio, Italian author contemporary and friend of Petrarch; wrote Decameron a collection of 100 short stories, some of which are erotic, considered masterpieces of the genre.
Günter Grass, author of The Tin Drum and Cat and Mouse
Guy Davenport
Henry Miller, author of Tropic of Cancer
Ivan Barkov
John Cleland, author of Fanny Hill
Jun'ichirō Tanizaki, author of The Key, Naomi, and Quicksand
Kathy Acker, postmodern pornographer, author of I Dreamt I Was A Nymphomaniac
Kenzaburō Ōe, author of Seventeen, J, and A Personal Matter
Laura Antoniou, author of The Marketplace
Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, author of Venus in Furs
Marilyn Jaye Lewis, author of Neptune and Surf and Lust: Bisexual Erotica
Marco Vassi, author of "The Erotic Comedies", "Devil's Sperm Is Cold", and "The Stoned Apocalypse"
Mario Vargas Llosa, author of The Notebooks of Don Rigoberto
Mark Twain, author of 1601
the Marquis de Sade, author of Justine, or the Misfortunes of Virtue
Maxim Jakubowski, editor of the Mammoth Erotica series and a major erotica writer in his own right
M. Christian, author of The Bachelor Machine and other works
Mitzi Szereto, author of The Wilde Passions of Dorian Gray, Pride and Prejudice: Hidden Lusts, and Phantom: The Immortal, among others.
Nicolas Chorier – author of L'académie des dames
Patrick (Pat) Califia, author of Macho Sluts
Pauline Réage, author of Story of O
Penny Birch
Samuel R. Delany
Sunil Gangopadhyay, Bengali Indian author who wrote maximum number of erotic novels in Bengali literature
Susie Bright
Sylvia Day
Tamara Thorne, author of the Sorority series
Taslima Nasrin, Bangladeshi author who wrote "Lajja" in 1993, an explicit sexual book.
Vladimir Nabokov, Russian-born English-language writer, author of Lolita
William Levy
William Simpson Potter, author of Romance of Lust
Yasunari Kawabata, author of Beauty and Sadness
Yukio Mishima, author of the homoerotic novels Forbidden Colors and Confessions of a Mask
Zane.
Chinese erotica[edit]
Li Yu, author of The Carnal Prayer Mat
Lanling Xiaoxiao Sheng, author of Jin Ping Mei

Chinese erotica[edit]
Li Yu, author of The Carnal Prayer Mat
Lanling Xiaoxiao Sheng, author of Jin Ping Mei
Poetry[edit]
Ovid, Roman erotic poet
Catullus, Roman erotic poet
Sextus Propertius, Roman poet
Sappho, Greek poet from the island of Lesbos who wrote love poetry to young women.
Petrarch, Italian poet, considered, together with Dante, the father of Renaissance. His love sonnets dedicated to Laura are masterpieces of erotic poetry
Bai Juyi, Romantic poet of Tang dynasty
King Solomon, Author, according to Judeo-Christian tradition, of the Song of Songs.
John Wilmot, 2nd Earl of Rochester, British 17th Century libertine
Hồ Xuân Hương, 18th-19th century Vietnamese poet
Pietro Aretino, Italian poet. Books: "The School of Whoredom", "The Secret Life of Nuns", "Sonetti Lussuriosi e Dubbi Amorosi", "The Secret Life of Wives", "La Cortigiana", "Ragionamenti".
Manuel Maria Barbosa du Bocage, Portuguese poet. Books: "Poesias Eróticas, Burlescas e Satíricas", "Os Amores", "Opera Omnia".
Pierre Louys, Belgian poet. Books: "Poesies Erotiques: la femme, les vulves legendaires", "Les soeurs à l'envers", "Oeuvre Erotique", "Le nom de la femme", "Le femme et le Pantin", "Trois filles de leur mére", "Les cahiers de la Nrf", "Les chansons de Bilitis", "Manual da Civilidade Destinado às Meninas para uso nas Escolas".
Gregório de Mattos, Brazilian poet. Books: "Poemas Satíricos", "Para que todos entendais poesia", "Desenganos da vida humana e outros poema".
Hilda Hilst, Brazilian poet. Books: "Fico Besta Quando me Entendem", "Da Poesia", "Porno Chic", "De Amor Tenho Vivido", "Cantares", "Baladas", "A Obscena Senhora D", "Obscenica", "O Caderno Rosa de Lori Lamby", "Tu Não Te Moves de Ti", "Contos D'Escárnio/Textos Grotescos", "Fluxo Floema", "Cartas de um Sedutor", "Kadosh", "Como Meus Olhos de Cão", "Poemas Malditos, Gozosos e Devotos", "Do Desejo", "Rutilos", "Exercícios".
Autobiography[edit]
Emmanuelle Arsan, author of Emmanuelle
Vanessa Duriès, author of Le lien
Nancy Friday
Henry Spencer Ashbee, author of My Secret Life
Frank Harris, multiple-volume memoir My Life and Loves
Catherine Millet, author of The Sexual Life of Catherine M.
Georges Simenon
Xaviera Hollander, author of The Happy Hooker

Unfortunately what you bring to the table is self righteous censorship, uneducated,/massively ignorant, bossy mindless right wing and self appointed dictatorship which makes anything you have to say to me quite irrelevant unless you smarten up

Strangely I haven't noticed droves coming to this site to read your offerings so if you don't have anything but your Victorian weight to throw around mind your own small minded business.

Please consider this to be my formal report of the poet zebra.

Gratefulfor your help in removing this comment string from my page, and blocking the writer.

Smiles to you.

Legna

author comment

Imagery, check. word usage , check. The problem with this is you start out saying the wind sent a message. This is a good beginning and you then showed all the places the message was carried.........but.......no hint of what the message is. Is it that spring has sprung? Or maybe how the message was recorded in the magnolia's scent then sent on its way. Or maybe the message is I'm too dense to se it lol. Now to the actual structure. A LOT of people write poems without stanza breaks. But these breaks in my opinion serve a good purpose. They give a pause so the reader can soak in each stanza instead of trying to absorb an entire poem in one breath.............stan

Thanks for stopping by, and for telling the truth.

The message is there, but it takes a certain kind of heart, that believes in joy, to see it. Look again, with the childlike part of you. If you don’t see it, then this write isn’t for you.

Smiles to you.

Legna

author comment

I wouldn't change a thing. wonderful phrasing bring the words alive & making the sing (indeed), a lovely treat to read - as I suspected after reading your comment on my poem. Thank you, I'm going to read a couple more times to fill my heart with this refreshing work... so much to explore between & all around this work.

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

Ah, thank you, Anni! I was beginning to believe this was a dried-up, joyless site! My purpose is to gladden hearts, but the receiving heart has to be open, even just a smidge.

The last several comments had me thinking this site wasn’t for me, so thank you and thank you!!! :):)

Smiles to you.

Legna

author comment

so I can't reassure you that isn't the case. I did feel long ago that tgere are folk here who dislike kindness, goodness & compassion expressed in what they read. It does take all types though, I greatly enjoyed your writing, yet I was interested in your comment re 'exposing personal experiences/feelings'. My opinion on that is that if it is well written it can be wonderfully liberating, as reader OR writer. Though I do prefer writing that kind of thing more evocatively than literally, so I suppose I might prefer less obvious detail as a reader too.

In any case, I do hope you don't disappear, I feel that would be a real loss, we will never please everyone, but hopefully we can all learn a little more tolerance, & I get a feeling we writers might have a lot to learn from you... I think there is wisdom here among much of the reactive or ego driven feedback. I am currently giving it some time & taking the best of what has been offered. Maybe we could add a bit more light &perspective here if the balance is out? & I know there are some truly good hearted folk here. For my part I would dearly love to get your feedback on anything I write, even if it's to say you felt it was too much oversharing. I think there's a lot to be said for receiving truly honest & informed perspectives.

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

All I can say is thanks for being here today!!! Your comment has the warmth and friendliness that, like sunshine, will keep this site alive.

I’d be happy to give your work a try... I have more time to read on the weekends, so it may take a few days.

(And truthfully, I write about all kinds of things. But I only share them with readers I trust.)

So this is like a first date with this site... if it’s not a complete disaster, we might decide to take a chance and meet again.

Smiles to you.

Legna

author comment

I loved this poem because I was transported from my living room and into nature! I think if a poem can take you out of where you are then its done its job. Sometimes that can be a dark place, or upsetting and makes you cry, or it can be joyous and positive, like this one.

" A grateful wind visited each and every tree
giving the gift of a feathery touch
which filled the blossoms with delight. "

I love the above lines, as its a very different style that comes out of me, and if I attempt to write anything like this it comes out as quite unbearable!! I think you have done a great job with bringing emotion without overdoing it.

Lindsay :)

Glad to have written something you enjoyed!!! :):)

I’m pretty versatile, but this is one of my styles. Simple words just cut straight to the heart sometimes, and I try to deliver that. I’ve seen some really good examples in literature and writing by some great poets out there in the world today. There is nothing more powerful than love, and the simplicity of joy.

Thank you for appreciating my words.

Smiles to you.

Legna

author comment

I liked your poem, warm and fluffy,
something we can all use at times.

I wanted to say that sharing poetry is
a very emotional event and here where
we are encouraged to give an honest
evaluation (which is of course, subjective),
it can sometimes lead to altercations.
I guess my point is that it isn't important
if anyone or everyone loves your work ...
are you satisfied is the question.

Why oh why aren’t there more like you here???

Smiles to you.

Legna

author comment

my two cents. When we write and post on a site that has such diverse a population as this, we tend to forget, that there are just as many different opinions of what we have written, as there are people.
I will suggest that one or two people that do not like or share an affinity for a certain kind of poetry or writing, should just skip it and/or not comment. No reason to put an entire site on trial. When we post with the signature that says: "Go ahead, knock me on my back", you may well encounter such a response, that does not meet your liking. Please bear that in mind. ~Geezer.
.

Comments and critique are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

Geezer, I like and respect you. But I will not tolerate zebra’s trolling. Point final.

Smiles to you.

Legna

author comment
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