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Magic Night
Cool dark pools sparkle with starlight.
Fairies come out to dance in the night.
Their gossimer gowns shimmer like rain
And they sing a lively, haunting refrain.
Elves play tag and hide-and-seek
As bashful gnomes from dark caves peek.
The scene is gay, yet quiet somehow
When the secret sleep people appear now.
They move with grace through meadow and lane,
Where once, in the daylight, all seemed so plain.
The beauty was there for all to see,
And now we behold it, just thee and me.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Eulekia
Thu, 2019-01-24 08:02
Magic Night
Dear Wonderwoods
I like your poem Magic night. You could have included some talk about the moon.
Eulekia
ami
weirdelf
Mon, 2019-01-28 12:38
This is lovely, thanks Wonderwoods
and evokes one of the first poems to turn me on to poetry
"Jane" by John Masefield
In June time once, as I was going
Up Happen Hill, by Lob’s Pound,
I saw Them, many as snow snowing,
Hymning their Queen and dancing round.
In glitter and sparkle they were turning,
Scattering dewdrops in the green,
Their jewels shone, their eyes were burning,
And O the Beauty of their Queen.
And O the beauty of their singing,
It was as beautiful as She,
Perfect in tune, in time, and bringing
A deathlessness to mortal me.
So life I knew has this for kernel,
This marvel to which man is blind:
We make a blur round an Eternal
For ever shaming humankind.
They streamed away, away, before me,
With chimes like little silver bells,
They opened doors of glory for me,
And now I think of nothing else.
cheers,
Jess
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