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Alone
Today I sat alone by my window
And watched the snow fall on the ground
I looked at your pictures
I listened to your songs
But Today I sat alone.
My heart breaks deep down inside
Cause I’m wishing you were by my side
My thoughts they reach out to you
My tears cleanse my sole
But Today I sat alone.
I have your beautiful memories
But I feel so alone
My heart breaks deep down inside
My tears cleanse my sole
But Today I sat alone.
Review Request (Intensity):
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Last few words:
I just wanted to put this poem out
Editing stage:
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Comments
Marv45
Mon, 2019-01-21 11:31
What do you think. I wrote
What do you think. I wrote this poem cause I am missing my sweetheart who past away last spring with cancer. I truely miss her.
author commentthemoonman
Mon, 2019-01-21 16:14
Hi,
Welcome to the site! Thank you for sharing
your poem, a subject many will resonate
with ... loss is part of the human experience
but that doesn't make it easy.
Your poem could be improved but I think
you could just let this one be and write more,
if that is your intention.
regards,
Richard
Marv45
Tue, 2019-04-30 09:54
Hi I have 2 new poems
You stated that Alone could be improved I would really like to know how it would be improved.
I have two more poems
#1 One more hug
#2 My Angel
These all tie into the passing of my beautiful sweetheart who past away on May 1, 2018
author commentthemoonman
Wed, 2019-05-01 08:03
Hi,
Well for one thing, count the times the
word "alone" is used ... makes the impact
less explosive. The second and third stanza
say pretty much the same thing, take us there
with you.
The first stanza is really good (subjective value)
(I like it) ... less is more.