Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Sleepy Mornings

I awake with borrowed time from snoozed alarms,
Duvet awry and sheet entangled with arms.
Each pillow I throw with contempt at the floor
bitterly wishing that I could have slept more.

Zombie-like I rise from my tomb of a bed
with a nest of a bun askew on my head
and wiping my eyes with the back of my hand
I vault out of bed trying my best to stand.

And I do, for a minute, ‘till my knees crumple;
I lay on the floor with pyjamas all rumpled.
With pillows on the floor, I’m tempted by rest,
but I pull myself up and start to get dressed.

With my wardrobe wide open and clothes, all strewn,
I dig through the piles pervading my room.
After some time, a top and trousers are found
amassed from the various heaps on the ground.

Makeup applied with shaky hands weary,
eye’s uncovered bags making them bleary.
Hair and teeth brushed and face glitter adorned
I stuff my bag full whilst stifling yawns.

Every morning I do the same;
Wake up and want to sleep again
While at night I sit and postulate
Why can’t humans hibernate?

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Good and for obvious reasons I couldn't help thinking of my granddaughter, who always appeared half asleep in the morning. But I believe if you removed a couple of words here and there. for example just say - wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. or- a nest of a bun askew on my head. It would feel better to me. Love Roscoe.

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

You have pretty well painted a picture with words of a sleepy girl and in the end given it a touch of humor...
....................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

But the poem is unnecessary. Throw out the alarm clock and threaten physical harm to anyone who wakes you before you want.
Works for me.

But seriously I get that there is more to this than meets the eye at first. Just why the fuck is our society such that it is a gruelling task instead of a delight to greet each new day?

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.