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Rorschach’s Cage

Walking in the dark,
walls made of stone.
Every step gives pause,
for they are not alone.

Breath grows heavy,
the path is long.
Ever downward,
to where all hope is gone.

As dim light glows,
what was dreaded appears.
Bars made of steel,
a cage draws near.

A creature small and weak,
sad and forgotten he sits.
Eyes empty and lost,
round bars tighten his grip.

Voice which once was lost,
whispers a now faded echo.
“Tomorrow I rise
out of depths below.”

Strong words spoken
from one without a way.
How could this be?
You pause, “What did you say?”

Again, with forced breath,
voiced deep from shadow,
“Tomorrow I rise
out of depths below.”

Chilled words spoken twice.
What could this be?
The creature’s breath escapes him,
perhaps he utters a plea. 

“What has brought you here?
Was it evil or some great foe?”
“Tomorrow I rise
out of depths below.”

“Curse your infernal chanting!”
For that is what it must be.
This creature so forgotten
has lost all thought. Has he?

This place not on map,
a cave once unknown.
Contained within its walls,
the echoed yearning of a throne.

The moment grows cold,
a chill of memory lost.
Light grows foggy,
thy own voice now cold as frost.

Sight now fleeting and vacant.
What happens to me?
Body grows tired and weak.
What happens to me?

With unexpected strain,
for voice no longer will flow.
“Tomorrow I rise
out of depths below.”

Nerve now lost, as is control.
What happens to me?
Future is vacant yet foreseen.
What happens to me?

Now inhabited within the cage,
through haunted vision I see.
What once could have been.
But now, it is me.

Review Request (Intensity): 
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but combined with your choice of username and exploring a topic well covered by genius poets in the past I am guessing you are pretty young, possibly teens, may have just tried pot and need to read a lot of really good poetry.

This is harsh, I know, but I wouldn't bother if you hadn't shown such amazing skill.

Neopoet Directors

I too, like what I see. don't let us scare you off. I would like to see you read lots of Neopoet poetry! Not that the so-called masters and the infamous and famous aren't worth reading, it's just that you don't get the sense of what one has do to explore because you are too busy trying to emulate them. Read the poets here, take your cues from hem. Pay attention to what the critics say and how the author responds. Don't take everything they say as gospel, and keep your individuality. Good luck and keep writing! ~ Geezer.

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Critique or comment today!

There is a nice feeling of what the craft is about, and trying to tell a narrative in a "traditional" rhyming, and ballad devices. A good place to start.
It does feel antique, it is not the language of our times. That's ok, not everyone can do that. Now that you have written well in 19th-century language and style, ease your way up to the present.

I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

I do care about every poet here, except one end-of-days Christians freak who preaches without even reading the poem. I hope he doesn't both you, if he does report him to the AC.

Anyway, why Rorschach?
It doesn't fit the poem or any mythology. It is an outdated psych test.
So why?
I want to understand and possibly help here.

Neopoet Directors

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