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Tongues of Desire

Submitted by zebra on Wed, 2018-12-26 05:31

my eyes
tongues of desire
a soft gauze
upon drenched red silk
stigmata
a river of marrow
flower of blood
creel of moist honey

hold not yourself apart
I kiss your wound
bell moon
crescent ravine, dark tears
like a spay of stars

arched spine
your raised cunt
like scrambled eggs
curves to the heavens
a steep canyon aching
weeps blue darkness
legs wide in souls shadowed grove
tattooed pistols and knives
pierced by my autograph
for every letter, scimitars plunge

jeweled clitoris ringed
sweet tarnished petal
gashed mouth; flower de luce
memories that burn
blotted like an eye in ink
to fly winged breasts

your face
hieroglyphic of weird
crimson smear; cackle
with feet below hell

wanting to live
like fire in the sky
hot witch riding a broom handle penis
scummed mouth

the world soul destroyed paradise
and your form
hideous kisses
falling red ribbons
i am puddled;
a runny yolk
shameless, for your open hollows

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
the abstraction of desire in the realm of the senses
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

quillsveinback

Wed, 2018-12-26 13:51

quillsveinback's picture
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It has a definite coiling of images that spring out just at the right time,

JTA

zebra

Wed, 2018-12-26 13:59

zebra's picture

Thank you very much I really appreciate that coming from you especially. Im touched !!!! :)

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Geezer

Thu, 2018-12-27 23:50

Geezer's picture
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I find your words conjuring images that only "Killer" should find inviting and yet I stand horribly transfixed by them. "Sir Gee" tells me that we should hide our faces and pay no mind o the man behind the curtain, that he is not to be believed or encouraged. "Killer" will like you.
~Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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zebra

Fri, 2018-12-28 05:57

zebra's picture

Hi Geezer, your comment is of course right on but I would like to add a strange dimension that is hard to comprehend for most, unless already familiar; but a very big part of this write is that the submissive who is the focus of the homicide is sexually excited by the idea themselves Autassassinophilia This is something that emerges in my poetry repeatedly with a host of other paraphilias

Case in point Richard Ramirez a.k.a. Night Stalker . who was adored by many women; attracted and titalated because of his homicidal predisposition and good looks

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