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I Like It Icky

i like it icky
mad to exceed the world
in dark dreams erotic

to evoke blood wet mouths
insertions paradise of fluorescents
in a dark aperture

her pudenda
a rolling hill
gaudy wound like a smash mouth crying
split torn tearing, pink estuary
for gluttonies' joyride
that can hardly be endured
twisted tongue spice melts and glitters raw

the sheets soaked through
matted hair in saliva
blood and eggs
the screams of monsters rapture

oh feral abandon
every thing else a toil

winged genitals
hell toys for mama
like heaven cant know

his balls, hanging bats

Nagasaki goes off in her ass
bodies; quake in silence
the bedroom; a chaotic bathroom
tulips shrill flutter
gulp and swallow milks flame
rosy welts laughing
flushing orgasm's

shoved urns
all spilled libations
touching and sucking
crimson scum runnels
in bathhouse foam
down the drain
to earthen bowels din
where the dead push up dasies

i am the worm in the fruit

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

I can safely see you wiggling
beneath flora fountains
dripping nectars
and
musical sounds
like ooooooo ouch ahaaahcchchchch
and loud too
I know now how your mind works too
when ur two

This is the first wet one
I have read fully off you
Hiroshima did you know
blew
as you two do

Thank you kindly for the review
I love using the metaphor Hiroshima but in the poetic sense it will remain evocative of Sylvia Plath so I veer

Yes I feel you do really understand how my works HAAHAAHAA from your onomatopoeia and it is both rare and very appreciated

Many thanks ;)

author comment

thank you I had to google
onomatopoeia
to know aaaaaaaaaaachh ooooooooooolol etc Z
to do and know what to do and when 2 do lol
u know

when birds of a feather
fly together
they are like two bards
actively into each other
with personal swords open
outtta scabbards
and
ready to slice
I won't say part
sexuality of erotcae's
is an active mind's art
which hath thou
to depart

Are you saying I should refrain from writing my sexually charged verse

Birds of feather flock with out pulling swords, Thats why they remain together
I will always speak my mind respectfully, if reciprocated

author comment

here swords
are male danglers
concealed down below
and
sword
is just a metaphor
no disrespect what so ever sir

any misunderstanding
be shaved off
washed in morning stand to
dew
my regrets if due
I have no clue

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