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TOO LONG
I am sorry it took me too long
to explain who I am.
I have grown older and changed on the way.
I forgot the beginning of my own story
and nobody’s left to listen to me at the end.
Naked I sit on the shore,
happy that I have learned one thing
that there is no need to explain anything to anybody,
that I can breathe, love, and draw
as much as I need. Nobody wants to know.
Nobody needs to hear. Nobody dares to care.
All alone among billions of other lonely clones,
endless and slight variations of one winning genome
we have a lot in common, we share everything
including the belief that we are mortal and unique
while in fact, we are more or less fair copies
of the first - born a few million years ago - version.
It took me too long to understand who I was.
This knowledge doesn't make me kinder,
it hurts and sobers.
I sit on the shore of my disappointments.
Distracted by changing winds, I am trying to focus
on breathing, I show my teeth in conventional smiles,
my hair stands up, and goosebumps
march all over my skin, I sit on the shore
in the sun-made wreath of melted copper and tin
I inhale salty spray, mix of sand and original sin.
Come and take my pencils away
I am ready to stop drawing.
Comments
lovedly
Wed, 2018-11-28 01:58
this poetry Irene is abs and so truthful-- yeah beautiful
.....that there is no need to explain
anything to anybody,
that I can breathe, love, and draw
as much as I need.
Nobody wants to know.
Nobody needs to hear.
Nobody dares to care.................'''
and
why should anybody
can you tell me
Iriz
extraordinarily
metaphorical poetry
teach all please
how to come out of cocoons
we dwell in still
lonely and still
kindly Irene will ye
wonderful CEO
you have already proved to be
IRiz
Wed, 2018-11-28 10:00
Dear Lovedly,
Dear Lovedly,
Thank you very much for reading.
I am glad you find it worth your time.
I looked through your profile and picked a few fragments to quote your poetry on Instagram.
I slightly modified some lines to link them together. Take a look and tell me if this is okay to quote you this way.
IRiz
raj
Wed, 2018-11-28 04:17
Hi IRiz
Nice reflective poem..among many, the following lines stand out for me
Naked I sit on the shore,
happy that I have learned one thing
that there is no need to explain anything to anybody
goosebumps
march all over my skin
Come and take my pencils away
I am ready to stop drawing.
...........................................................
raj (sublime_ocean)
lovedly
Wed, 2018-11-28 07:33
excellent raj
good pick up
well done
IRiz
Wed, 2018-11-28 10:01
Thank you Raj.
Thank you Raj.
It is a real pleasure to be read by you.
IRiz
Eumolpus
Wed, 2018-11-28 18:30
hi Irez
I am a bit haunted by the poem. Throughout the poem, you present a very Kafka/Camus presence, one of acceptance and rebellion. That you can stand alone against the storm, that you know who you are, the poem feels like it's about triumph.
That "that there is no need to explain anything to anybody.."
Then the last line makes me take a double take. Why should I (the reader), now introduced to the poem written in the first person, want to come and take your means of imagination away? The poem feels to me like
No one can take my pencils away
I'm not ready to stop drawing.
It's a good write, but it leaves me thus a bit confused.
Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings
IRiz
Wed, 2018-11-28 19:10
I agree with you. It might
I agree with you. It might need some revision.
The intention for the last line was to dare you to take my toys away after all I said.
IRiz
Eumolpus
Wed, 2018-11-28 20:18
got it
but it comes off more like a request, an invitation. "Come..."
I think it is easily revisable. Thanks for the clarification
Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings
scribbler
Wed, 2018-11-28 19:36
hi
"I sit on the shore of my disappointments"..........this single line contains more truth and emotion than most entire poems....bravo