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The Bitch and the Bard
she said i'm a bitch
he said i'm a bard
its a fucked up fairy tale
that might get you hard
what's with all the metaphorical indiscretions she chided
i don't know he quipped
but metaphors dearie
gets me excited
what do they mean
who the hell knows
you can write them forever
and cant afford clothes
a poem a day
sometimes two
i can't buy a house
or even a shoe
what's for dinner
a big words stew
its a low calorie meal
it will have to do
whats in it she said
some nouns and some verbs
could use some lettuce
and maybe some herbs
what the hell
go get a job
i would of course
but i am a slob
besides i could never write
in a complete line
with proper punctuations
like Gertrude Stein
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Region & Country
Florance MA USA
Favorite Poets
Plath, Ginsberg, Blake, Poe, Bukowski, Crowley, Burroughs, Shakespeare, Ocean Vuong
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Comments
IRiz
Wed, 2018-11-21 08:48
I wonder if "Bitch and Bard"
I wonder if "Bitch and Bard" for the title is better.
I am not sure. By omitting articles you turn a subject into idea.
Hard and Bard seems there for a rhyme.
But it maybe just my opinion.
"You can read them forever ...."
Do you mean "you can write them forever"
Your protagonists are arguing. They are relatively civil. Where is your insanity? House and shoe reference to nursery rhymes is it intentional?
What was your goal including it?
The cadance is chopped and feels appropriate for the topic.
I like your "word stew" metaphor.
With your permission,
I would start the poem with her bitching and make the whole thing a dialogue or her words and Bard's thoughts
For example,
Missleading promises, cheap coffee.
Words stew for dinner.
I am bored of your metaphorical crap.
Meaningless poet! So called Bard.
O, God, where is my slender girl?
Her shy smiles are gone.
Should I really stop writing? get a job,
frame the yelling blob in splendor
she is asking for? That was his thoughts.
But he answered, "Yes, darling."
IRiz
zebra
Wed, 2018-11-21 12:38
haahaahaa
All good suggestions!
As for the title you have a point but The Bitch and Bard ...Paired down to Hard I think
I liked your suggestion going from read to write and made the change... very good and thank you much ;)
With regard to your below comments you have my permission to do the rewrite and we will call it a collaboration if you like
Missleading promises, cheap coffee.
Words stew for dinner.
I am bored of your metaphorical crap.
Meaningless poet! So called Bard.
O, God, where is my slender girl?
Her shy smiles are gone.
Should I really stop writing? get a job,
frame the yelling blob in splendor
she is asking for? That was his thoughts.
But he answered, "Yes, darling."
\
I've lived it, and from your intercept I can guess you may have too :)
The Artist, for the most part a lion only in the house of dreams
the fate of the damned, pass the word stew....boo hoo hoo ;)
author commentIRiz
Wed, 2018-11-21 12:29
No I have not lived but I
No I have not lived but I have observed some of it, yes. Thanks for the laugh. That is what I was hoping for.
IRiz
zebra
Wed, 2018-11-21 12:56
Thank God, Its Amedeo
Thank God, Its Amedeo Modigliani mid 1800s burning his paintings and furniture for heat in the dead of winter
author commentIRiz
Wed, 2018-11-21 13:32
good example, i'd place him
good example, i'd place him into the beginning of 1900, he is one of the symbols of twenty century dawn decadence, mmm my favorite time
IRiz
zebra
Wed, 2018-11-21 13:39
Lived: Jul 12, 1884 - Jan 24,
Lived: Jul 12, 1884 - Jan 24, 1920 (age 35)
Do you want to see my art?
should you dare?
author commentIRiz
Wed, 2018-11-21 14:23
Send me the link
Send me the link
IRiz
zebra
Wed, 2018-11-21 14:32
I want to show selectively
I want to show selectively for you get a better understanding If I send you some things and then after ill include a link the context will make more sense
Send Email if your okay with it
author commentlovedly
Wed, 2018-11-21 09:41
''its a low calorie meal''---heads !!!! blown up maybe
all sexy poets
use metaphors
like seeds for semen
by many bitches taken
few calories
spoonful
some have a bit more
bitches and bards
both are nude
naked if that pleases you
poets aren't too rich
except a few maybe you
here's cumming for you from her hot stew
perhaps ur sexy guy
what jammey
or zuby
but poetry is all hopefully will say
very juicy
zebra
Wed, 2018-11-21 11:42
Poets painters dancers and
Poets painters dancers and old women who are guys haahaahaa :)
Your a wild flower stamen or pistil
author comment