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Doggy (not style) but Kiss...humorusssssssss please

Submitted by lovedly on Thu, 2018-11-08 10:45

When I was a kid
in a school
the Hansi/laughter poet
read a poetry
about his earnest desire
to be a dog

he spoke in Hindi
I copied it
translated it
here 'tis

If i had been a dog
I’d kiss all misses
for free
all over anywhere
any one could see
and
feel jealous of me

then he smiled
O god let me
in my next birth
a dog be
no damn girl
here ever kisses me

promise will thee

He softly heard
(a yes ...doggy)

What else is there in life
but LOVE
conveyed thru just a peck
a KISS
can anyone
tell me
in exchange for
just a
SWEET HONEY KISS
will ye

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Eumolpus

Thu, 2018-11-08 18:43

Eumolpus's picture

Good to see it from you with all the recent woes. Just warming.

I thought the poem ended

He softly heard
(a yes ...doggy)

Ends just right for me! When I opened to comment saw the last stranza and ...personally I like it better without it. The last stanza explains too much.

Anybody agree or disagree?
..

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

lovedly

Thu, 2018-11-08 23:41

lovedly's picture

Whether the poem needs a replay
then others add on
they may

it's a fun funny poem
a true one
all my true poems are original
no added flavours

author comment
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