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Sincerity Bathtub

Submitted by gregwa8 on Wed, 2018-10-24 23:21

He cried enough
To fill a bathtub
With his tears

And then lay there
Soaking
His heart & limbs
In salt and sadness

Some called it
Wallowing

But he wondered
If some people
Had ever even met

Their own
Broken heart

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Geezer

Thu, 2018-10-25 00:07

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caught my eye. The language neat and succinct. The pacing gives you time to digest each thought.
It's a time honored piece about a broken heart, [ everybody should experience it at least once ].
Interesting description of wallowing in your tears. I got the idea about wondering if anyone had ever had a broken heart before, and having had one, can understand thinking that no one else had EVER felt this way before! Nice piece
~ Geezer.
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gregwa8

Thu, 2018-10-25 23:00

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thanks, geezer!

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IRiz

Thu, 2018-10-25 15:33

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Great surrealistic write!
Wallowing in the bathtub of tears is an ultimate indulgence for a broken heart.
There is something energetic-cool in your poem as if one meets and survives its own broken heart.
It is always a pleasure reading your poems.

IRiz

gregwa8

Thu, 2018-10-25 23:01

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thanks, Iriz! I love surrealistic stuff. congrats, as well, on becoming AC Chair!

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IRiz

Thu, 2018-10-25 23:03

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My pleasure and thanks

IRiz

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