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Drifting

Let me rest awhile,
By the shore.
I am the driftwood,
Caressed by waves,

Held aloft
By gentle lap of tide.
Glowed by moonbeams,
Made white by sun,

Let me hide in troughs,
To wander so
Where dolphins play,
That they heal me.

Teach me to sing
A lullaby
Of Siren’s sound
Bring them to me

A gentle attraction
Only water gives
Teach me your ways
Deep thought,

Surging energy,
Subtle changes,
Flowing warmth,
Sparkling charms.

Only in dreams,
These are mine
A sudden sound,
Moving beach.

Let it storm,
Take me away.

I need to dream

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
A dream of days gone by
Editing stage: 

Comments

I automatically read this line
let it storm as let the storm to me this is more comfortable

Not sure which is best, To:-
(Let it storm) which gives the elements a task to cleanse the beach and take me away again, but leaves a doubt as to whether it will solve the problem.
(Let the storm) though more comfortable is an easy way out yes more comfortable lol,
I will think about it as I drift away again..
Thanks for your read and comment,
Yours as always Ian ..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

author comment

Only in dreams these are mine.
I perfectly love this line, it's take me back to the time of struggle which by imagining there are things i have them but in a reality I don't.
Thanks for this poem.

I watch the dreams of a thousand thoughts pass me by.
There I select all I need in the twinkling of and eye.
People and places and all the races, are here one by one.
They hold my thoughts if appealing to my ways, yet even they change day on day.
I travel to your shores watch the people go about their chores, then ask of their thoughts, of their history and myths, handed down so that I can write of them each day in a sort of poetic way.
Thanks for your visit and you are welcome anytime to come share the things I have here, just be of open mind leave the body behind, then with unconditional love we can write some more,
Yours, Ian (Sparrow)

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

author comment
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