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Hummingbird Speak

Submitted by Barbara Writes on Mon, 2018-08-27 13:49

Hummingbird speak,
How fast are your wings?
What is your name?
This one met me face to face.

This one looked me in the eyes,
I asked again with a smile,
How fast are your wings?
What is your name?

I wish to take your pic,
create nature vid
This one stayed and played
Hummingbird speak..

Style / type: 
Free verse
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Rula

Tue, 2018-08-28 12:21

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always great to see you with your lovely voice. Ah humingbirds! They've always fascinated me as well. I have never seen one face to face though.
I found the last stanza a bit ambiguous re who is the speaker.
Maybe adding some punctuation might solve the ambiguity?
Or it might be just me?

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Barbara Writes

Thu, 2018-09-06 15:41

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The last line does seem ambiguous. I’ll reword as hummingbird speak.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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