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Break of Dawn.
It was but 'A Midsummer's Night Dream',
Of my lover and I in warm embrace,
But before our lips could meet,
Or become acquainted,
The envious Sun parted us with its piercing rays,
I awoke from the dream suppressing a scream,
Pacing lifelessly,
All I had was the whisper of your name
Sung by the sympathetic wind to my ear,
I called your name Ife, Ife,
The heir,
To the throne of my heart.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
lovedly
Sun, 2018-08-19 15:50
see short and sweet though it's a dream
so many will enjoy it
Friend I did
I can't read
beyond 20 lines
I call them epicurial