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PHANTOM
In the silence of late night
I feel the eyes
and in the darkness of deep winter
i sometimes hear the stealth.
He's there
First detected years ago
I thought , perhaps, imagination.
A flit in the corner of my eye
then time passed
and the clues
became more frequent.
Until
sometimes in crowded rooms
a full shadow sitting in the rear
who whisked away when focused on.
As loved ones as funerals passed by
and more autumns shed their leaves
as hair turns white and then turns loose
those features become more distinct.
Yet often for months
sometimes years
He is nowhere to be seen.
But he's there
waiting
And one day
Quite unexpected
perhaps as I trek
some deep woods trail
he'll call my name
when my time is done
and I'll be gone.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
Rula
Thu, 2018-08-09 02:14
Hello Stan
It's strange how each of us view "Death"
I think you've done a quite good job with your imagery.
I expect from YOU to come up with an extremely different coda as you've always get us used to.
A different take maybe on how you expect to receive this phantom? I'm sure you can do it!
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scribbler
Thu, 2018-08-09 18:04
Hi Rula
I hope to be already dead before I'm aware I'm dead lol. But it's far more likely I'll just fade away like an autumn leaf turning brown
lovedly
Thu, 2018-08-09 13:52
tHANKX 4 D SUMMARY BELOW I have been seeing since age 5
As loved ones as(!?) funerals passed by
(and) more autumns shed their leaves
as hair turns(ed) white and then turns(ed) loose
those features become more distinct.
so very true r stan u
(x)MAY REVIEW
tense wise
else ur wise
otherwise
scribbler
Thu, 2018-08-09 18:04
yep
from our birth it's a one way trip toward death
Obadiah Grey
Thu, 2018-08-09 15:16
Its a job best suited to a
Its a job best suited to a woman I've always thought, Stan.
so, my tip would be to leave the light on and surround yourself with mirrors.
especially liked the fourth stanza.
Obi,
scribbler
Thu, 2018-08-09 18:06
Hi Obadiah
Ah perhaps Adam's first wife? I can't really visualize a lady bearing a scythe lol
tyro
Fri, 2018-08-10 10:57
hello Scribbler
I can very much relate to this, though my phantom has at times been insistent that I look.
Great job, it is very evocative.
T
The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight
scribbler
Fri, 2018-08-10 11:04
Hi Tyro
I'm kinda surprised at the amount of commentary of this rare free verse poem. Thank you for such kind comment
tyro
Sat, 2018-08-11 04:41
"I'm kinda surprised at the
"I'm kinda surprised at the amount of commentary"
that's because it is something, in varying degrees, varying forms, common to all of us.
T
The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight