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key
i have many shut doors
each locked with a key
many skeletons in my closet
ones you'll never see
secrets i have many
hid in away in my keep
some secrets i'll tell you
if they stay between you and me
if i let you into my life
shut the door behind you
whatever secrets i share with you
are only for you
and if you unveil my secrets
if the whisper tempts my soul
and your mouth forms the
forbidden words
return
your
key
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
chevyvent
Fri, 2018-07-06 21:52
A giant leap into fame you got potential pal would love to read
A giant leap into fame you got potential pal would love to read more of your work. Strong message you have here really hit home in accordance to the poem piece. You are very alert and stand in one accord according to its great message. Such as a blade of grass torn in the wind you have great taste in brevity. Further, your word choice is professional very in tuned you got here from the heart you got to write more of your excellent poetry. Lastly, it encompasses a wealth of knowledge to humanity to embark along its journey.
Mario Vitale
hopeless_writer
Sun, 2018-07-08 11:17
chevyvent
thanks ! that means alot coming from you as i admire your work
author commentraj
Mon, 2018-07-09 15:43
Hi HW
what i read in your poem that the key to hold a relationship together is confiding in each other but should that promise be broken the door is shut forever without a compromise..
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raj (sublime_ocean)
hopeless_writer
Wed, 2018-07-25 07:20
Hi raj
That is the message I was trying to protruding with this poem .
author commentraj
Wed, 2018-07-25 14:48
Good to know I read it right
Good to know I read it right HW
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raj (sublime_ocean)