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Cycle of Impermanence [Renga]
many leaves drifted
gently touching ground zero
without any shout
barely anyone noticed
soon winds of change arrived
birds and their offspring
were mute witness to the fall
from a trembling branch
by instinct they chose to move
in search of a new abode
in script after script
on pages that got flipped
new poems were writ
but none stayed there forever
making way for next of kin
the now becomes then
like is summer to the fall
spring lets winter thaw
only change is permanent
like father time says move on
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Rula
Mon, 2018-07-09 13:59
You've
done an exquisite work here my friends. This is absolutely distinguished and I couldn't pick a favorite, but like it as a whole
Well done all!
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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raj
Mon, 2018-07-09 14:08
Thank you Rula for your words
Thank you Rula for your words of appreciation which are very inspiring coming from one of my Mentors...
warmly..
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raj (sublime_ocean)
Rula
Mon, 2018-07-09 17:14
Raj
so sorry. I thought this is a co-operative Renga. I've just noticed it's all yours. This is a work that you should be definitely proud of.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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raj
Tue, 2018-07-10 05:38
Hi Rula
This not collaborative poem like the Renga conducted by Barbara, I thought a collection of Tanka make a Renga even if it is by a single writer. If my understanding is wrong let me know so that I shall delete [Renga} from the title.
I don't know if the abstract comes out as well other than "only change is permanent"
Tanka 1: Many perish [could be even people] without getting noticed
Tanka 2: Is also about the displaced migrants
Tanka 3: Poems is in the context of landscapes which are erased over time
Tanka 4: Don't sit over your laurels
I am not sure if I did succeed in bringing out the above...
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raj (sublime_ocean)
Rula
Tue, 2018-07-10 15:57
Dear raj
Each tanka is a poem of its own and together they make an inspiring renga indeed. I'm not an expert at this myself. All I know is that your work is highly anticipated.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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raj
Tue, 2018-07-10 16:02
Dear Rula
many thanks for returning to this page and your continual good words which are like tonic and will inspire me to do better...
warmly..
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raj (sublime_ocean)
chevyvent
Tue, 2018-07-10 10:41
Everything is a delight
Everything is a delight in this piece warm words to you. You lit a fragrance of love through this timeless piece. Made you think of the colorization of sights and sounds. Really good writing you have to stand in one accord very together to the point. Further, as if a decorated mast has supplied the cadence toward this great piece. Lastly, wouldn't change a thing its that good.
Mario Vitale
raj
Tue, 2018-07-10 13:45
Thanks Mario
for the read ...many a time some of your comments seem not be connected to the poem but more of the content as copy and paste .from may be a bank of preprepared comments ..
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raj (sublime_ocean)