Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Trips and Chirps

As sparrows trip to my window sill
and chirp before the sun is up,
I feel then like I'd let my quill
to fill with music my morning's cup.
So soft and sweet, with tender tweet
they touch my heart with a special joy,
and no matter how is down the beat,
the tweets are sure to pack up the coy.

The melodies grow to magical tunes,
till unfurls the sun on the sandy dunes.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

much appreciate the read and your tweets ^_^
Have editted that "dune" thing. Hope it fweets better now ;)

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

author comment

a very sweet poem is this I would say...the title is good and language us appropriate....i appreciate the way you quickly established the warm fuzzy connection with the birds....

between the lines i read this to be from a lazy girl who finds excuse to curl up longer till the sunlight is up to the sandy dunes...would that be noon? :)

enjoyed the short poem
......................................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

anyone but me... I rarely sleep after eight a.m.
Thank you for reading dear raj!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

author comment

I was being honest in my comment..may be I read wrong between the lines...chill !!
................................................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.