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As breathing chills

Submitted by Seren on Wed, 2018-05-23 14:31

As the torch of breath chills
betwixt fervour and stillness,
we seeth as time grows stale
yet, for a dark angel abide

Beacons lit at creation quiver
it's last fervour draws ichor,
O, lord of beasts spiral near
thy mane delights to a hair

Gliding darkness doubtlessly
sheathing limbs in tenebrosity,
yet the veil of twilight is worn
as devils spital gleams an heir

Alas, tomorrow will wilt away
as dew on a blades of dawn,
sheltered in the arms of grace
sorrow lastly ceases to dwell

Before lillies are picked to lay
And the organs rhythms swell,
I will enshrine all doubt infinitely
in the hearts of loves pure cell

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft

Comments

raj

Wed, 2018-05-23 14:42

I marvel at your prowess in word usage some of which are not used commonly. One more gem of a poem...a pleasure to read, re-read and absorb...also a lesson for the likes of me...

It must be wee hours of a new day...hope you re taking enough rest..

much love and warm regards...
............................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

Seren

Wed, 2018-05-23 14:59

Seren's picture

Someone once asked me had I swallowed a dictionary lol. In the beginning many years ago now. I did read dictionaries always looking for a different word or a rare one. Seems like they are still tucked up in my head lol So glad you enjoyed this. And yes its nearly 5am. I rarely sleep at night anymore due to pain issues. But ? I've found something to fill my hrs and I don't even have to leave my bed :)))

Love an big hugs J xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

raj

Wed, 2018-05-23 15:05

That explains my awe about your using choicest words from your vast vocabulary. You have not just swallowed a dictionary but pretty much digested it too :) I am looking forward to your next "shining like star" poem you mentioned in your comment to Ian. You have already stimulated my appetite..:)

be well always...

much love...
.................................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

Seren

Wed, 2018-05-23 15:11

Seren's picture

I've always been in love with the night sky/ universe. I've lost count of my star poems but this new one even has me liking it. Which is a hard thing for me to do. I rarely like my poems I'm always too critical.

Blackies standard shilling dictionary is one of my favs and over a 100yrs old lol

Love J x

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

raj

Wed, 2018-05-23 15:14

Jayne...for a student like me I don't remember any of your poems which do not emit light

warmly...

raj (sublime_ocean)

Seren

Wed, 2018-05-23 16:46

Seren's picture

We are all students I think and will never know all there is to know. Thanks for the lovely compliments it made my day.

Love J x

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

Barbara Writes

Wed, 2018-05-23 18:34

Barbara Writes's picture
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I too love the night sky. I’m getting back too my spiritual self and will be writing more poetry of this sort as I’m inspired to do. I Enjoyed the travel through the wee hours of the morning. I been being awaken between 3 and 4am a lot. What better to do than pull back my curtains and watch the Sirius star twinkle in the north sky, the moon pass behind the tall trees and imagine being up there with my pixie wings.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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Seren

Fri, 2018-05-25 14:34

Seren's picture

Thanks so much for the visit. Always happy to see you. So glad you liked it. I am still clearing out the cobwebs writing again. I will look for more of your work i thoroughly enjoyed the last

Love J xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

Geezer

Thu, 2018-05-24 08:06

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are: Alas, tomorrow will wilt away
as dew on a blade of dawn
sheltered in the arms of grace
sorrows lastly cease to dwell

So true, so true. Love it! Love and higgest bugs, ~ Bro.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Seren

Fri, 2018-05-25 14:37

Seren's picture

So happy you liked it. Still getting back into the swing again. So glad you liked those lines they are some of my favourites as well. I'm going for a read I'll look see what other gems you have.

Love and higgilest bugs Sis xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

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