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Water Planet

like waves
of loneliness
and then love
loneliness and love
sometimes the movement
seems like the perfect design
sometimes only
a recipe for sickness --
the ocean can
lull you to sleep
or rock your world
violently awake.
it contains
the strangest creatures,
like the thoughts
in my head,
from cute
to Kraken-like,
shallow and speckled
to deep and dark.
do we crawl
out of this, someday,
into a world of steadier legs
and sturdier brains?
or is this
forever
the rhythm of life?
this sea cycle?
the bigger fish
ever eating the smaller?
is mine
only a water planet?

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
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Editing stage: 

Comments

this is a poem of opposites and it forced me to ask is loneliness the opposite of love. I came to no definite conclusion; but it did put a germ in my head for some future poem.
thanks

T

The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight

I would say in you have created an ocean of thoughts in these verses. No wonder tyro has found a germ in those to create more ...great comparison and truly thought provoking...

good creative thinking
................................................................................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

tyro, glad to get you thinking and hopefully creating! thanks for your comments.

author comment

thanks raj!

author comment

an awesome free verse piece, very heartfelt and sincere.

thank you, fink555!

author comment

I like your questions the most.
The opening line is engaging as well.
Waves of loneliness, yes it feels like shoreless and bottomless sea sometimes.
Write on, my friend! Your poems are getting better with every line.

IRiz

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