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My groan on Phone's

Submitted by Sparrow on Sun, 2018-03-11 19:43

I was just in the toilet checking my Poo
As at my age this is what you should do
Damn phone fell down the loo.

Wrapped it in rice that was very nice
Until the whole lot went into the oven
The Mrs thought I was helping make a pudding

Phone you were supposed to be smart
Trouble and strife thought it was nice
That I started to make a pudding with rice.

Today I took it to have a new glass put in,
I should have put the damn thing in the bin,
Seventy pounds it cost me this afternoon.

I saw the time shine on its new unscratched face
Put it in my shirt pocket which is its usual place
Now I had to rush before the post office closed.

As I reached the car that wasn’t too far
I dropped my keys on the road in my haste
The phone fell out and took their place

I picked both up with tears in my eyes
A sharp piece of gravel I had spied
Sticking out of the glass of my phone

I started the car and continued to my home
Let the driver’s window down all the way
Threw the bloody thing away, so don’t call me.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
It's an age thing, lol
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft
Contest: 
Ode To The Cellphone [March contest]

Comments

Geezer

Sun, 2018-03-11 20:11

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you feel. Damn near chucked mine out of the window myself a couple of days ago.
I laughed when I felt it was appropriate and cried at the end. ~ Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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Sparrow

Sun, 2018-03-11 20:45

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Many thanks for your visit, I haven't had any problems as yet I have a pay as you go phone. Its battery is always Flat as I don't bother using it much. lol
Hope you are all OK out there after all the things and people journeying on this last year I feel more of a need to know of you all..
Take care of you and yours,
As always, Ian, and the children..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

author comment

Eumolpus

Sun, 2018-03-11 20:44

Eumolpus's picture

the first Stanza caught my attention.
Poem was very clever. Thanks.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

Sparrow

Mon, 2018-03-12 05:11

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Didn't you know that if you are old the best thing you can do is check your Poo lol..
Thanks for the visit enjoy the company,
Yours Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

author comment

Rula

Mon, 2018-03-12 02:27

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here dear Ian though I know what trouble these phones cause (and they think they're smart ha?)

Best wishes.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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Sparrow

Mon, 2018-03-12 05:13

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It is lovely to have you here again it has been a little lonely and I don't mean the Neopoet one.
Hope the theme wasn't too crude for you. lol
Take care young Lady talk soon I hope,
Yours as always Ian ..xx

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

author comment

Sparrow

Mon, 2018-03-12 05:18

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Good to see you here, My phone sits in a drawer battery flat and out of funds, to me they are not much use, but I belong to the Curmudgeons brigade, A grumpy old mans place, so I can berate as much as possible lol..
Take care out there and I am glad it made you smile a bit,
Yours Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

author comment

raj

Mon, 2018-03-12 11:12

Lots of humor packed in this poem blended with realism

Regards...

raj (sublime_ocean)

Sparrow

Mon, 2018-03-12 19:38

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Your visit is most welcome.
Hope everything is OK with you.
Take care and know we see you there,
Yours Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

author comment
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