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creative opportunity

Submitted by lovedly on Fri, 2018-03-02 06:58

The Internet is not working
as Yahoo is also not working
a poet's mind goes wild...
is it a kind of madness

Fragrance;

clearance;
acceptance;
relevance;
ignorance;
instance;
allowance;
substance;
maintenance;
appliance;
disturbance;
assistance;
circumstance;
grievance;
dominance;
attendance.
guidance;
importance;
resemblance;
insurance;
distance;
balance;
nuisance;

all are a
nuisance;

now you recompose
all these words
and
compose afresh
It 's not too difficult
but try and convey
sense
which is primary essence
of time pass
creativity
see sunku has floored
all ye

only creative ones
to apply their minds

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

swamp-witch

Fri, 2018-03-09 11:52

swamp-witch's picture
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Is a hard form to master, but I like the one's you've chosen. It reminds me of the song "Harder Faster Better" by Daft Punk, but the words you've chosen are a bit more complex, which is good! And I can absolutely see the connection between these words racing through a writer's mind (your mind?) when the Internet is down, the computer isn't working, or there is no pen and paper!

However, I'm not sure I understand the end of the poem, the last two lines. Are you saying you aren't creative enough to participate in the sunku workshop? Because that's preposterous. Sunku is a short form and that is where your skills lie! Or are you saying someone more creative would apply this list of words in a different/better way? Because that's also unfair to say.

Kelsey

Critique, don't comment.

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lovedly

Sat, 2018-03-10 01:19

lovedly's picture

I compose poetry
J O C U L A R L Y
U know it!

lol

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