Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Sunku 16 Workshop “Summer's Ensemble”

Submitted by Barbara Writes on Mon, 2018-02-26 14:07

Summer
Is popping
with nature buzz

animals
insects
ensemble chirps

arrived
summertime
Gaia’s Kingdom

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Workshop: 
Sunku: beyond rhyme and rhythm, search for new structures in short form

Comments

raj

Mon, 2018-02-26 14:30

I will look out for the edits you make for which there is room..your Sunku inspired this

Beyond
the Spring
I hear a buzz

Beetles
chirping
summer songs

Others
join party
from their nests
......

raj (sublime_ocean)

Barbara Writes

Mon, 2018-02-26 14:44

Barbara Writes's picture
Volunteer badge

I’m weird like that. It’s still spring and everything is drowsy about waking up but I hear them as if they are awake alive and buzzing all around.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment

raj

Mon, 2018-02-26 14:54

Stanza 3 could be

Soon
our tails swing
in boogie dance

....

raj (sublime_ocean)

Barbara Writes

Mon, 2018-02-26 15:35

Barbara Writes's picture
Volunteer badge

I’m visualizing the ending as a Kingdom like the lion king movie but with the whole planet involved as a Kingdom

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment

raj

Mon, 2018-02-26 15:37

That's what was the intended purpose in sync withe the "Ensemble" in your title

....

raj (sublime_ocean)

Barbara Writes

Mon, 2018-02-26 15:43

Barbara Writes's picture
Volunteer badge

Glad it worked

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment

weirdelf

Mon, 2018-02-26 22:57

weirdelf's picture
Volunteer badge

https://vocaroo.com/i/s10M1MgDzhAB

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Barbara Writes

Tue, 2018-02-27 13:15

Barbara Writes's picture
Volunteer badge

I appreciate your visit as always

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.